r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Sep 24 '22
What is considered attractive but has no appeal to you?
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u/eathquake Sep 25 '22
Anybody who plays hard to get. It seems very annoying to me. U wanna date? Wonderful. U dont want to? Sucks but ok. Flippin between the 2? No worries i got u. It isnt happening
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u/NobodysFavorite Sep 25 '22
Agree. Not sure if you wanna. I'm gonna respect your boundaries right there.
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Sep 25 '22
Exactly. As a man I never want a woman to feel uncomfortable, like I’m pursuing them when they don’t want to be pursued. There is a big social stigma about ‘creepy men who won’t take a hint’ so if you say no the first time I’m not going to push it.
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u/deathkut Sep 25 '22
This shit right here. And it IS very annoying. When me and my ex separated I wasn't in any hurry to date anyone for a combo of reasons, mostly my ex swearing she'd stalk me and whoever I end up with for the rest of my life, and when I did eventually find someone that made me say, "Well, one date couldn't hurt anything. Doesn't have to be anything serious," she turned out to be this way. She was the one who made the first move so mentally I'm like awesome and when that didnt go anywhere further I understood being shy and I can be patient but it turned into the real life version of Mouse Trap. She'd break up with her bf, come to work, and being extremely flirty, a lot of it overtly sexual in nature, from shift start to shift end and at the end of the day nothing came of it and she would end up back with the POS ex. Initially I assumed I personally was reading into something that wasnt there and it was on me so I would let it go but the overt sexuality increased to things like rubbing against me and telling me to "grab a handful", lifting her shirt in front of me unprompted, or coming to work in a sundress and no panties and making sure I knew before she would bend over in front of me or asking me look for pantylines/if I could see anything. There was a lot more but this is already too long 😂. To the point, she would push it to the point of making it seem like she wanted to go at it in the bathroom, so much so coworkers noticed and thought we were hooking up, but I guess she was more into the pursuit or making her on again off again boyfriend jealous.
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u/throwthataway2723 Sep 24 '22
Bad boys.
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Sep 25 '22
"Hey, I heard you were into bad boys. Not to brag, but I'm literally bad at everything"
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u/FireFighterP55 Sep 25 '22 edited Sep 25 '22
🎵Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?🎵
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u/OkBottle8719 Sep 25 '22
I have a hard time with this because I like the ~idea~ of the bad boy but whenever I encounter one in real life I'm like please gtf away from me lol
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u/Outrageous_Use5081 Sep 24 '22
Being too mysterious and unavailable. Tbh the more I get to know someone the more attractive they become, generally
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u/RadiantHC Sep 25 '22
I'll never understand why someone being unavailable is seen as attractive. It's such a good feeling to be around someone who actively wants to be around you.
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u/misty9 Sep 25 '22
Same! The only guys that have ever kept my interest going are the ones that try to keep in touch or just check in.
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u/onlystopyouneed Sep 25 '22
I agree with this 100%. If you're interested why not show you're interested. I understand the want to not seem desperate and clingy but at least respond as often as she does, easiest way to Guage interest
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u/soft_bespoken Sep 25 '22
People want what they can’t have. That’s why my house is 60 when it’s 75 outside, and 75 when it’s 60 outside. Yeah.
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u/doinitlivetil35 Sep 25 '22
I think that actually has to do with humidity and how the air holds or doesn't hold heat in different seasons.
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u/missag_2490 Sep 25 '22
I am an oversharer. Chronically. I am fortunate to be married, but even when making friends I just put 100% off me out there. If you don’t like me then yo, that’s all you. I am who I am and I embrace it. If I’m too much then that’s cool. I spent too much of my life conforming to what others wanted but now I’m over that.
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Sep 25 '22
I actually appreciate people like you because I'm the opposite, very reserved. But people like you have less of that "awkward barrier" that's initially there when just getting to know someone.
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u/Ok-Category9249 Sep 25 '22 edited Sep 26 '22
We can't stand lulls or dead times in conversations, so we start talking, mostly about ourselves! I think it an anxiety thing.
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u/shlipshloo Sep 24 '22
I never thought being secretive was attractive but since I stopped sharing so much I have had a lot of luck. I was probably over sharing, but it feels like I don’t say much at all now and I get called back way more
Btw I think your preference is smarter lol
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Sep 24 '22
Materialism, too much flashy stuff does nothing for me
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u/YourFriendLoke Sep 25 '22
If she can't appreciate my gigantic model train collection, then shes not the girl for me
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u/monstrinhotron Sep 25 '22
I don't mock my wife's hundreds of books and she doesn't mind the office full of Transformers.
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u/onlystopyouneed Sep 25 '22
Spending money on things you love, hobbies and such doesn't seem materialistic to me. I suppose she meant spending 50$ on brand name socks
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u/skeled0ll Sep 25 '22
same, and spending excess money on basically nothing but these things becomes very unattractive even at a point
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u/jaraldoe Sep 25 '22
It depends for me, like if they spend it because it’s their hobby and they really enjoy it then it’s cool they found something to enjoy. If it’s to impress other people then it’s dumb.
Ex. My wife loves Manga, she has over 500 volumes right now and it’s still climbing and I honestly just add to it because I enjoy how happy she gets when more show up. (I know for some people it’s not a lot but she did also start 3ish years ago and this isn’t counting the posters, a few figures, and the acrylic stands)
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Sep 25 '22
In my head it’s just excessive things that don’t get used or just for image more so. Or being a brand snob. Having to have the most expensive thing every time when something else of lower value is adequate if not as showy. Hobbies are totally acceptable if they bring joy to the collector, absolutely.
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u/susanna270 Sep 25 '22
Exactly, wearing a $400 Gucci belt doesn’t make me more attracted to someone to at all.
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Sep 25 '22
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u/_Weyland_ Sep 25 '22
If it's a challenge for you or your body to deal with, it's probably too far to be attractive. Goes for boobs, muscles, nails, heels, etc.
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u/Curious_Device5968 Sep 25 '22
That kind of reminds me of how in the past, rich people used to buy their spouses luxurious tight dresses that restricted movement to show off their wealth and power since they needn’t move.
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u/_Weyland_ Sep 25 '22
That's actually a very old thing. Russian nobles around the time of Ivan the Terrible (1500s) used to wear clothes with extremely long sleeves. I'm talking about reaching the ground long. Those sleeves made any physical labour very ineffective if possible at all, so it was a show of status. They can wear those long sleeves because they don't have to work.
Since then we say that a person is working "with their sleeves down" when they're doing a bad job and not really trying to do better.
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u/peromp Sep 25 '22
I work in a warehouse, and one of the women who work with me has long ass nails and a wristful of bling. I can't comprehend how she manages to get anything done. But that's maybe why she needs help to lift a pallet or anything remotely heavy
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Sep 24 '22
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u/Socialmedia_Persona Sep 25 '22
I used to think that social media was beneficial for my photography turns out word of mouth and a website does the trick.
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u/keenedge422 Sep 25 '22
Social media is a great way to get a bunch of people to look at your art, but it's dismal for converting those looks into actual work or sales.
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u/BonsaiDiver Sep 25 '22
my photography turns out word of mouth and a website does the trick.
It's been a while since I worked professionally, but back then, and probably now, reputation was a big thing. If you were reliable and treated people well that went a long way towards getting work.
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Sep 24 '22
I was turned down from a date because I didn’t have enough followers. I heard she was into me, but when she saw my Instagram. She had 30-40k and I had 400. The week after she got into a relationship with a guy with 15k followers on Instagram. Never knew followers was a factor in dating.
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u/deltacharmander Sep 25 '22
Never knew followers was a factor in dating
It definitely shouldn’t be, I’d say you dodged a bullet with her
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u/TheRealRickC137 Sep 25 '22
No kidding. Seems like that many followers would be a red flag to anyone not livin' la vida cloaca.
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Sep 25 '22
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u/RadiantHC Sep 25 '22
Especially if you primarily post pictures of yourself. If you post art then that's one thing.
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u/Thin_Raspberry_6291 Sep 24 '22
Wow, how shallow!
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u/Archugal Sep 25 '22
If she rejected you with 400 followers, then I’m below 0. The good thing is that you don’t have to spend more time with people like her.
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Sep 25 '22
To be honest, if a girl had that many followers it would be a reason for me not to date her. Being that active on social media is either a consequence of being insecure or being vain.
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u/Altruistic_Dust123 Sep 24 '22
Had a friend with a tik tok following in the hundreds of thousands. It's really easy for me to care about things my friends care about regardless of my own personal interest, but for some reason, this was not one of them. I just could not bring myself to be impressed.
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u/rabj10 Sep 25 '22
The “look at this nice and humble thing I did for a stranger” videos
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u/Tammytalkstoomuch Sep 25 '22
My only slight caveat to this is that sometimes the views are what financially enable the person to be donating to other people, so I feel a bit conflicted. But in a rando video where someone's giving away a small amount of something for a pat on the back, agree completely
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u/ImKbear Sep 25 '22
Yes! Finally someone says it! What happened to doing good deeds in the dark?
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u/MissCosett18 Sep 25 '22
This is a strange one to explain but when a person is to perfect looking. The extremely sharp cheek bones, the eyes are usually blue. But they look photoshoped in real life. If anyone remembers that one criminal that went viral for his mug shot a while ago. I went to school with a guy that looked just like that. He was a super sweet farm boy, but he hated the way he looked because so many just saw him for his face. So ya I don't I think it's not attractive to me but whatever floats your boat.
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u/UCredpill Sep 25 '22
Agree. Gives me a sort of uncanny valley feeling. People need a couple of imperfections IMO.
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u/RoilyZinco Sep 25 '22
Completely agree. I honestly even find it creepy if someone doesn't have any blemishes, freckles, moles, etc. on their skin whatsoever.
It's all just...skin. It's so weird, and yet so many people want it.
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u/RoilyZinco Sep 25 '22
IMO, in a weird way, people who are too conventionally attractive pretty much swing back around to being ugly because of how unsettling their perfect appearance makes them look. Idk if that makes any sense at all, but that's how I feel when I see people like Brad Pitt and Bella Hadid.
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u/SeveralFools Sep 25 '22
I feel like the people who wrote/cast/made up Homelander in The Boys used that effect perfectly.
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u/Loud_Confidence2956 Sep 25 '22 edited Sep 25 '22
Not liking things. If seeming like a mature adult who doesn't have any fun ever is a goal to you then you aren't doing it right. I get that being an adult entails things like responsibility and maturity but holy hell, that can't be your only personality trait. There is no shame in enjoying things and acting like it.
Edit: I should be more clear. I'm operating under the assumption that both I and another person have agreed to spend time together. Also I'm specifically referring to people who have to put on a show of "being an adult" by actively shitting on stuff. If you just don’t have time for fun, that has nothing to do with your personality and everything to do with society as a whole.
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u/IAATCOETHTM_PROJECT Sep 25 '22
it's almost like maturity is a mechanism used to strip away your humanity in order to more easily feed you into the meat grinder
not to be confused with self-discipline, something everyone should have, the push to do what you understand is something beneficial to the wider world even at your own expense
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u/God_Save_The_Tea Sep 25 '22 edited Sep 25 '22
People aren't really like that. Nobody goes home, completes their day's duties, and then powers down in a regeneration alcove.
People who come off as if they never do anything fun just have their fun privately, and don't particularly want you to know about it. Western society makes it seem like there's something wrong with people who don't want to be sharing fun experiences with others all the time. Sometimes it sucks being a very introverted individual, because people tell you, routinely, that you're broken. "Come on, just try X...." "You don't enjoy Y?!?" "Live a little." etc.
I'm sure I come off as someone who doesn't like to have fun, but it's only because my fun has no room for two. When I'm alone I'm so frivolous, immature and irresponsible that I might as well be a child. I crave free time alone so I can set the real me loose.
If I bore people it's because I'd rather be somewhere else and am doing the bare minimum to be polite. If I come off as arrogant or superior about my seriousness, it's just an act to get people to leave me alone.
I assure you, there's no one out there who is 0% fun 100% of the time unless they have major crippling depression or a substance abuse problem. If an otherwise functional person seems that way they probably wish they were somewhere else and not with you, and with no hard feelings about it.
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u/Stormental1975 Sep 25 '22
I'm almost exactly like that, I work 7 days a week, and take care of my terminally ill wife in the time I'm off, I sleep when I get the chance. There are really very few things I have time for or enjoy. I am not complaining mind you, just pointing out there are people who would use a regeneration alcove if we could, and that also don't have any lives either.
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u/Hamfiter Sep 24 '22
Fake boobs. Fake boobs are okay but I prefer the natural sag and bounce and whatever the natural body brings to the table. No offense to the owners of the enhanced members of society.
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u/soft_bespoken Sep 25 '22
Fake ones look better in clothes than naked — which seems backwards.
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u/SimpleCauliflower209 Sep 25 '22
100 percent agree. Also big fake diaper bootys
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u/ReasonableBeep Sep 25 '22
Reminds me of Paris Hilton saying that Kim Kardashian’s ass looks like cottage cheese in a garbage bag
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u/Significant-Garlic87 Sep 25 '22
I swear I liked fake (or didn't notice how fake some boobs looked) up until I was like 29 and then suddenly just started noticing unnatural separated balls/balloons.
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Sep 25 '22
My girlfriend has fake boobs and since I’m kind of a dumbass I had no idea because I haven’t seen very many boobs in person. She said that she had really small breasts and always felt insecure about it so when she got her job she saved up to get ‘em done.
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u/thetaFAANG Sep 25 '22 edited Sep 25 '22
Protip: the fake boobs that people have an opinion on are only OBVIOUS fake boobs. The perky DD+ balloons that defy gravity. There are MANY MANY more women that go from a A cup to a B cup or a B to a C. You would never notice, and the women with those smaller adjustments will likely smile and nod with you while you proclaim your aversion to fake boobs.
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u/gold-medicine Sep 25 '22
Yeah it’s like when men say they prefer no makeup on women but have no clue that the natural women they love still have on mascara, concealer, blush and brow filler
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Sep 24 '22
Super beefed up guys.... thats awesome you like the gym and want to be healthy or into body building. But I don't find muscle on muscle attractive. Its too much. But as they say.. one person's trash is another person's treasure. Everyone likes what they like.
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u/ginger_as_fuck Sep 25 '22
Have a friend who’s into super skinny guys with long hair while I’m into the muscle bound gym rat type. We love talking about it because we NEVER agree and end up laughing at each other’s taste
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u/geckotatgirl Sep 25 '22
That's the perfect kind of friend because you'll never compete for the same guy. LOL!
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Sep 25 '22
Guys like that are very aware of this fact. It’s bc you like yourself that way after a certain point, you’re well aware women aren’t generally all that impressed. Dudes tho? Dudes are weird haha
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u/Scaffoldd Sep 25 '22
I reckon it’s like when sometimes men aren’t able to appreciate good makeup - women are also sometimes unable to appreciate a good physique on a man.
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u/dmkicksballs13 Sep 25 '22
Honestly, there's a certain point where they're not doing it for women. They're doing it for themseleves. Like to see how big they can get.
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u/BigMan1911 Sep 25 '22
That’s literally every guy that goes to the gym… like 99% of guys so it for themselves, not for coochie.
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u/MaxDamage1 Sep 25 '22
I started exercising for general heath improvement, then got into working out because I started seeing muscle definition in the mirror and liked it. I'm not ripped by any definition, but I definitely do Conan the Barbarian poses in the mirror and dream about doing cosplay. Any benefit my wife has gotten from my improved physique has been secondary.
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u/Yikesthismylife Sep 24 '22
Agreed. I’m good with lean muscle, but bulk is kind of scary to me. Don’t get me wrong I understand it takes a lot of work to get there, but it’s just not for me personally.
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u/Money_Lawfulness_184 Sep 25 '22
Very rare breed. Even serious gym goers hardly reach 200lbs lean and hard. Seeing a guy 240lbs cut is seriously a rare event. Lotta huge guys got chub and the "bodybuilders" you see on Instagram are either genuine outliers with tons of experience, enhanced, or are quite light in real life.... Lighting can put 5 years experience on someone too.
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u/DavosLostFingers Sep 24 '22
Exaggerated long eye lashes, enhanced lips and drawn on eyebrows
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u/DefNotUnderrated Sep 24 '22
The crazy long lashes kill me. They look like people glued spiders onto their eyelids.
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u/Terrible-Cost-7741 Sep 24 '22
Okay but I have thin and invisible eyebrows, I like to give them a little colouring in so people can see my facial expressions!
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u/DavosLostFingers Sep 25 '22
I appreciate your honesty. Of course both men and women can jazz themselves up a bit. I meant those who paint them on so they look like Sam Eagle from Sesame Street
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u/Terrible-Cost-7741 Sep 25 '22
I know those girls well, I use to be one. Then I caught sense. They’ll feel mortified once they get past that phase 😂
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u/justhanginhere Sep 25 '22
Filtered photos (Unless it’s for a joke) But it doesn’t fool anyone and just advertises vanity and lack of confidence.
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Sep 24 '22
Women who try to push out their lips in pictures to make them look a little fuller.
It just comes off as fake to me and I don’t get why women think it looks better to alter their natural smile.
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u/HollyCupcakez Sep 25 '22
Massive dicks. There’s a limit and nobody actually recognizes that.
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u/_CatLover_ Sep 25 '22
My ex told me she was happy my dick wasn't too big. I know she meant it as a compliment but it was still kinda weird to hear 😂
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u/HollyCupcakez Sep 25 '22
I think that’s because for guys it’s penis size=masculinity.
I’m just going to say that one of my earlier relationships was with someone 2ft taller and 3x my weight and neither of us had any fun and had bruises in places you’d never think could get bruised.
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u/_CatLover_ Sep 25 '22
Absolutely. And I dont think it's just us guys. Movies/media/culture as a whole like to make fun of and comment on penis sizes so it's hardly surprising that we're self-conscious about our sizes.
But her comment also made me think about how the last guy she had sex with before we started dating must have had an elephant trunk in his pants. Which is maybe not something you wanna think about when you get frisky with your new partner 😅
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u/evilcockney Sep 25 '22
See this is one I'm convinced is only spread by people who've watched too much porn and have never experienced it.
A bit like being really tall - anything over 6ft begins to get inconvenient
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u/HollyCupcakez Sep 25 '22
Pretty much. And vaginal depth varies between women; there’s no universal depth the same way that not all penises are the same. There’s only around 2.5-6in before you end up hitting the cervix and that’s not a pleasant experience when that happens.
So the dudes that think 4-6in dicks are small, they’re actually more functionally useful than say the guy who has the massive 9in hog.
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u/evilcockney Sep 25 '22
Yepp it's not a nice feeling knowing you need to be careful not to hurt your partner
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u/t5035m4 Sep 24 '22
Long nails
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u/Common-Wish-2227 Sep 24 '22
Plastic nails. Long nails without plastic are extremely rare these days.
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u/xscumfucx Sep 24 '22
What length is considered “long” nowadays?
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u/Trackies_n_Lazydays Sep 25 '22
For me, long is when I try typing on a keyboard and I can’t touch my finger tips on the keys because my nails touch first. Anything that long or longer is a waste of time, not at all attractive, and personally, I find them actually painful. Just the pressure of the nail and the push/pull of the extension is just too much, and I spend the whole time trying to find ways to ease the pain. Needless to say I don’t get my nails done often.
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u/DefNotUnderrated Sep 24 '22
The overfilled lips. It's become another way for people to ruin their faces trying to conform to a beauty standard that's probably going to be gone in 10 more years.
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u/Dashie_2010 Sep 25 '22
Other people, I don't get what the deal is with finding them attractive, garlic bread is best
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u/Dances28 Sep 24 '22
Owning expensive stuff. I don't want to support that kind of life style.
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u/shlipshloo Sep 24 '22
The worship of money has escalated to such a point that it is attractive to most people.
If you have more than you need it isn’t attractive to me.
People can have stuff but I’ve met people who literally brag about how they don’t use real assets they own
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Sep 24 '22
Anything mistaken for genuine charm or intelligence etc. but is actually superficial or calculated.
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Sep 25 '22
I also naturally tend to be a little put off by charm. And I read something interesting the other day about how there’s a very high correlation between charismatic people and sociopaths. People whom are considered less charismatic often have much greater ability of empathy.
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u/RadiantHC Sep 25 '22
There's also a high correlation between charming people and toxic people/abusers/narcissists.
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u/Antique_Cartoonist47 Sep 24 '22
Mean guys, like no I don't want a guy who is mean to people
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u/reasonably_so Sep 24 '22
Oversized ass when they have chicken legs. Also giant lips. Over exaggeration of physical traits because they have no personality.
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u/totalmoonbrain Sep 25 '22
Oversized ass when they have chicken legs.
I believe this is sometimes known as "diaper butt"
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u/United-Student-1607 Sep 25 '22
When a girl does not look like she squats and has a fat butt falling off?
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u/mannrya Sep 25 '22
Calling me Daddy in any sort of sexual manner
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u/Dry-Salary2347 Sep 25 '22
However, being called ‘sir’ seems to work for me. It was a surprise for me.
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u/22days2 Sep 25 '22
Oiled muscles. Sorry but you look sticky and gross covered in that crap. Total turn off for me.
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Sep 25 '22
tiktok trends. never interested in them and i found it harder to talk to some people lol
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u/10secondmessage Sep 24 '22
Feet!
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Sep 25 '22
I heard the part of the brain that controls the motor response for the foot is right next to the part of the brain that stores all your horny (sorry, I don’t know how to say this all sciencey like a science doctor), which is why there are so many foot fetish people out there.
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u/Fresh_Fox3547 Sep 24 '22
FR
how yall so horny that you wanna fuck some walking stabilizers
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u/Giovani916 Sep 24 '22
Giant boobs.
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Sep 25 '22
Yeah, so many things go into tits being great that come before size… fuckin Texas logic need not apply
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u/WoopsOops Sep 25 '22
Huge muscles & facial hair. The lumberjack type. It’s not attractive to me at ALL & we would look ridiculous together lmfao
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u/LeurakGuayaba Sep 25 '22
not sure if this counts but those gigantic acrylic nails why you tryna look like a werewolf girl
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u/HyunCut456 Sep 24 '22
Super muscular bodies, I'm not talking about the body builder type, I'm talking about defined muscles on a body. No clue why but I don't find them attractive.
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u/Looieanthony Sep 24 '22
Feet. I mean they’re just kinda…there.
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u/thebittercupcake Sep 25 '22
Just had this conversation with coworkers the other night as we were talking about Quentin Tarantino and people with feet obsessions. I mean Im not one of those that are freaked out by feet or anything, I just don't see them in a sexual way at all. Like you said, they're just there. They give us something to stand on.
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u/ACam574 Sep 24 '22
The beauty-queen/Fox Barbie commentator look straight out of 1983.
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u/GargantuanCake Sep 25 '22
Tanning. Aside from the fact that I generally prefer very pale women a tan that didn't happen under normal activity just looks wrong to me. Prominent tan lines are especially a turn off. This isn't to say that darker skinned women are automatically unappealing it just has to be their actual, natural color and not something they acquired in a tanning bed or out of a bottle.
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u/JFT8675309 Sep 25 '22
Cosmetic plastic surgery (outside of reconstruction) injections, false eyelashes. Can we PLEASE normalize natural beauty?
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u/Both_Cockroach1402 Sep 24 '22
Loli’s, they’re kids my guy
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Sep 25 '22
Good thing they're not considered attractive by the majority of this planet.
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u/AnnaMized Sep 24 '22
Abs.... They just don't do anything for me 🤷
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u/LoonaticLaskdorp Sep 25 '22
Fast fashion idk whats the appeal of wearing clothes like 1 or 2 times and never wearing it again
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u/thattallkiwiguy Sep 25 '22
Thongs. (The underwear, not the footwear for you pesky Australians.)
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u/ButterScotchMagic Sep 25 '22
Whatever society considers a "bad boy"