r/PublicFreakout Sep 22 '22 Silver 4 Helpful 4 Wholesome 7 Take My Energy 1 Rocket Like 1

Trumpist Curses at KKK members (context i found on original video)

46.5k Upvotes

View all comments

7.6k

u/funhtowncouple Sep 22 '22 Gold

"Toilet paper, take it from'um"

1.2k

u/Deadmemories8683 Sep 22 '22

Well now what an I supposed to wipe my ass with? A pine cone?

1.0k

u/GothPolarBear Sep 22 '22 Silver

The three sea shells, obviously.

306

u/BattleForIthor Sep 22 '22

Ahhhh! I see you too are a man of culture.

87

u/PumpLogger Sep 22 '22

Demolition man?

64

u/BattleForIthor Sep 22 '22

Yes! You are correct!

The flame red ‘70 442 Stallone drives in the movie just makes the movie that much better.

2

u/putaaaan Sep 22 '22

“Heads up!”

1

u/Publius82 Sep 23 '22

Bucket seats!

31

u/grilledcakes Sep 22 '22

Everything will be better after all restaurants are taco bell.

3

u/McPoyle-Milk Sep 23 '22

I don’t know, rat burgers seemed better

2

u/Deadmemories8683 Sep 23 '22

es un hamburguesa de rata

3

u/Sailrjup12 Sep 23 '22

I just typed something like this and saw you beat me to it. Well played.

2

u/Twister_Robotics Sep 23 '22

That's why you need the toilet paper.

3

u/MarvelousDrip Sep 22 '22

This...is a rat burger...prego

2

u/Sailrjup12 Sep 23 '22

Loooove that movie! Every restaurant is Taco Bell!!! Bwhahaha

137

u/TonyStark100 Sep 22 '22

Be well!

47

u/SupportGeek Sep 22 '22

And have a Joy Joy day

80

u/MelloDawg Sep 22 '22

You are fined one credit for violation of the verbal morality code.

24

u/MaJoR_NoT_MiNoR_ Sep 22 '22

Thanks a lot you shit brained, fuck faced, ball breaking, duck fucking pain in the ass.

24

u/Yogi118 Sep 22 '22

You are fined o.......You are fi.......You ar........You are fined one credit for a violation of the Verbal Morality Statute.

6

u/mstrcrwly Sep 22 '22

Somehow I don't think he's a 47 yr old virgin, with beige pajamas,drinking banana/broccoli shakes, singing I'm an Oscar Meyer weiner.

5

u/LiftEngineerUK Sep 22 '22

Holy shit bro it’s like I’m actually watching the film right now

3

u/EffectiveLead4 Sep 22 '22

Let's go in there and lick this guys ass

3

u/Yogi118 Sep 22 '22

Kick......KICK his ass

2

u/Badwolf84 Sep 23 '22

Enhance your calm!

1

u/TopTierGoat Sep 23 '22

My Boggle?

1

u/AdequateMedia Sep 24 '22

Unfortunately Taco Bell has yet to become edible.

10

u/Steved_hams Sep 22 '22

What seems to be your boggle?

6

u/ITakeSacksToTheFace Sep 22 '22

BE FUCKED

7

u/drbongmd Sep 22 '22

Dang, what seems to be your boggle bro?

0

u/Wistari Sep 23 '22

This conversation is mind boggling.

26

u/showponies Sep 22 '22

I tried this but I quahog'd my toilet

13

u/7hrowawaydild0 Sep 22 '22

I tried to de-quahog their toilet and just conch’d all over it.

7

u/imuniqueaf Sep 22 '22

How long you been waiting to use that?

11

u/showponies Sep 22 '22

Puns are my clam to fame

5

u/Hops143 Sep 22 '22

Hello Neighbor.

2

u/Ithloniel Sep 22 '22

We all dine from only the finest of Taco Bell tasting menus.

77

u/BurnzillabydaBay Sep 22 '22

I really wish we’d gotten an explanation of how the 3 shells work.

9

u/Hopeful_Hamster21 Sep 22 '22

Everyone does!

I've always thought that if they make a sequel, it should be a subtle running gag that he still doesn't know how to use the shells, but he wants to find out and can't.

Near the end of the movie, someone finally explains it to him, but just as he's get NG the explanation, there's like a train horn or something that prevents the audience from hearing.... Horn or explosion or whatever noise goes on long enough to conceal the whole conversation. Meanwhile, as John spartan listens... He goes through a roller coaster of faces... From surprised to disgusted to confused.... Fi ally landing on impressed and convinced. Horn noise stops and the audience hears him say "oh, so that's how. Wow, that actually makes a ton of sense." End Scene. Audience still left hanging to speculate.

1

u/BurnzillabydaBay Sep 22 '22

Lol, I’ve been hoping the same, a sequel with shell analysis, no pun intended.

1

u/Economy-Easy Sep 24 '22

And then you inspired a whole sequel to be written, for that gag. :D

91

u/GreyCrowDownTheLane Sep 22 '22

They're controls for a bidet in the shape of shells (to match the bathroom/water theme). One is a dial for the warm stream of water, one is a dial for the cool stream of water, and one is the dial to operate the hot air dryer.

Anyone who has a bidet has known this. The only people confused by that scene are the people who still wipe with paper like cavemen with leaves.

73

u/Fredhophead Sep 22 '22

Down in the south I just took a sink sprayer and connected it to my toilet bowl water feed.

Now I can use the bathroom, bidet myself, wash some dishes, wash the cat etc..

edit: tehe

4

u/Disposableaccount365 Sep 22 '22

I'm confused, are you describing a single session in the bathroom, or multiple sessions. Like are you dropping a deuce, washing dishes, and the cat wonders in so you give him a bath while you're there? Is your tub really close to the toilet and you have the cat and dishes in there or is everything spread out at your feet and your just flooding the bathroom?

1

u/Mypornnameis_ Sep 22 '22

While house shopping last year, I saw a few houses with sink sprayers installed by the toilet. I think it was in homes of East African immigrants. I don't know if that's how they do it there or what.

3

u/Dudge Sep 22 '22

Could have been used for cloth diapers too. First thing to do is get the poo off the diaper and into the toilet.

2

u/speakhyroglyphically Sep 22 '22

Wash feet before prayer?

2

u/Fredhophead Sep 22 '22

I was being silly but yes there are some bidet attachments for toilets that look like sink sprayers...just really high quality ones.

I get silly sometimes.

1

u/GrandBed Sep 22 '22

The Middle Eastern name for them is Shatafa, in the West they are called a hand held bidet.

1

u/Mypornnameis_ Sep 22 '22

That would make sense. Nice thinking.

2

u/GrandBed Sep 22 '22

You are describing a Shatafa is a Middle Eastern & African bidet. (Lol Shat afa) it looks just like a sink sprayer.

In the west we call them hand held bidet.

A handheld bidet, also called a bidet shower or bidet sprayer, is a nozzle that stays attached to the toilet. This type of bidet is manually placed near your private area to clean your genitals and anus after using the toilet, sexual intercourse, or for freshening up

1

u/Mypornnameis_ Sep 22 '22

Thanks. Do you know if they're also used for foot wash, etc.? It seemed less convenient than the washlet style bidets that I'm more used to, but it would obviously be more useful if you also need to use a wash basin on the ground.

I have washlets at my house and I'm always a little surprised when guests ask about it and don't seem comfortable with the idea. Once you get used to actually washing your ass it just doesn't feel right to only use paper.

Honestly where I'm at there's a good amount of Muslim African immigrants and some people are prejudiced about it and say they're dirty and stuff. But if they almost all wash their butts and have other hygiene practices from their religion, they must actually be kinda grossed out by the reality of many Americans.

1

u/GrandBed Sep 23 '22

To my knowledge the shatafa, often jokingly called the “butt gun” is used primarily for the bottom. BUT, pun intended, I have seen “wet” bathrooms (toilet is “in” the shower, if you don’t know what a wet bathroom is) where it is used to spray around the toilet for cleaning purposes, so I’m sure it could be used for feet as well.

Yeah, speaking of not using a bidet in the realm of “cleanliness.” If someone ran up and rubbed poop on your arm while in a park downtown… would you get dry paper towels to clean yourself off, or would you get to a sink or hose as soon as possible? It kind of puts it in perspective.

1

u/1d10tb0y Sep 22 '22

Maybe those were bidet showers?

1

u/hoptownky Sep 22 '22

I use a garden hose and poop outside. The real cavemen are the ones who still poop INSIDE their home. Like, who even does that anymore.

1

u/Crabby-GenXer Sep 22 '22

Hop

Please stop crapping on my lawn and using MY hose to roll YOUR turds around like it's a carnival game.

Your neighbor.

P.S. I'm gonna need you to pick up those turds, I got to mow the grass on Saturday. Thanks.

1

u/jjw21330 Sep 22 '22

Close…different order

1

u/Flip_d_Byrd Sep 23 '22

Life hack... you can save time if you use the cat to wash the dishes!

1

u/Nathansp1984 Sep 23 '22

I just installed a garbage disposal in my shower drain. No more toilets in my house at all, well other than the shower

3

u/pissclamato Sep 22 '22

Well, Sylverster Stallone said in a 2006 interview that you use two of the shells as tongs to pull out the turds, and the third to wipe.

1

u/GreyCrowDownTheLane Sep 23 '22

He was having a laugh at the interviewer's expense.

2

u/DocHalloween Sep 22 '22

Wait! I'm not supposed to wipe with leaves???

2

u/psycholee Sep 22 '22

Makes more sense than the explanation I've seen, where you grab the poop with two shells and then scrape yourself clean with the third.

2

u/BurnzillabydaBay Sep 22 '22

Wish we had a bidet. Thanks for solving the mystery for me.

2

u/HalfMoon_89 Sep 22 '22

Woah.

Mind blown.

2

u/turnophrasetk421 Sep 22 '22

Dirty Americans...

U get shit anywhere else on ur body, no one wipes it off with a paper towel and calls it good enough.

1

u/killrushed1 Sep 22 '22

No they are not controls for a bidet. In Stallones own words

How they work was once revealed by Stallone in a 2006 interview, explaining that a writer told him '...you hold two seashells like chopsticks, pull gently and scrape what’s left with the third.' It's hard to say if such a technique would actually work in reality, which is to say nothing of how the shells themselves would be cleaned after usage. On reflection, it's easy to see why it's not one of the world-building elements that received clarification as per the contactless high-five Demolition Man explained

1

u/GreyCrowDownTheLane Sep 23 '22

Yeah, that was Stallone having a laugh at the interviewer's expense.

1

u/wittychef Sep 22 '22

Sounds like one hell of a poop.

1

u/Ozythemandias2 Sep 22 '22

I have a bidet but it just has a single cold water stream unfortunately.

1

u/GreyCrowDownTheLane Sep 23 '22

Still puts you ahead of the paper-smear crowd.

1

u/Tinctorus Sep 23 '22

I use the cottonelle ribbed TP for the main wipe and then I finish up with the baby wipes to "polish the knot" I have been seriously looking at a bidet though after having the pleasure of using one at a friend's house, I was always under the impression that the add on units sucked avd that I would have to invest in something like a toto or the high end Kohler for a few grand

1

u/GreyCrowDownTheLane Sep 23 '22

Many of the add-ins work very well, but you can get a complete (non-electric) toilet seat with self-cleaning bidet built in for around $100.

2

u/Tinctorus Sep 23 '22 edited Sep 23 '22

The ones I've been looking at were on Amazon it's called the "tushy classic 3.0" it's 120 but it's nice I also like the inus n32

1

u/Strontium_frog Sep 23 '22

Who wipes oy veh?

1

u/SgtArpin Sep 23 '22

"Well, think of a bidet, right?" said Bullock. "There's several processes. You have number one, you have number two, and then the cleanup."

But it doesn't stop there. Turns out the seashells are also musical instruments. "You can use them as little maracas as well," continued Bullock, giving an example of the sort of beat you can drop with the future's answer to toilet paper. "See, it's a musical instrument, and it's a hygiene element!"

Surprised that this mystery which has plagued film criticism for two decades was so easily solved, Horowitz got seriously burned by Bullock.

"It was obvious," Bullock joked. "It was obvious to me when I read it. I thought you were an intelligent man, but obviously not."

https://www.mtv.com/news/2knk1s/sandra-bullock-demolition-man-seashells#:~:text=Turns%20out%20the%20seashells%20are,and%20it's%20a%20hygiene%20element!%22

-4

u/[deleted] Sep 22 '22

[deleted]

4

u/MonsterDown Sep 22 '22

Possibly, but not in the DMCU (Demolition Man Cinematic Universe). After AIDS, NRS, UBT, Dr. Cocteau outlawed and regulated the exchange of bodily fluids (boning), which would probably eliminate the clap in humans over enough time.

4

u/Aromatic_Balls Sep 22 '22

Also not in the current real world either because bidets don't make direct contact with your genitals anyways. That other poster has clearly never used one.

1

u/Wishbone_508 Sep 23 '22

Wait. It does NOT make contact with my womb raider? My whole life has been a lie.

1

u/Crabby-GenXer Sep 22 '22

You know Michelle, you can't just bone all day.

-1

u/blackteashirt Sep 22 '22

When we have shitty arses we take a shower. If you have such a messy bottom that you need to hose it off every time you shit you've got problems, I'd suggest shaving around your asshole for a start. The other possibility is you've been conned into installing another piece of expensive plumbing equipment into your house at significant expense, in which case you also don't need it.

2

u/VoodooIdol Sep 22 '22

No, that means you don't drink enough water or eat enough vegetables. I can't wait until your hard, dry shits actually give you an anal fissure so I can laugh at you.

Also, a bidet attachment for your toilet is like $35.

1

u/PM_LIFE_STORY_PLEASE Sep 22 '22

Yo here's what grosses me out

It's gonna spray water upwardly and then that water is going to fall back down onto the nozzle and then boom, gross shitty nozzle

1

u/blackteashirt Sep 22 '22

How dare you! My stool is a perfect soft but intact S shaped phenomena. I barely even have to wipe. Also it doesn't smell bad, just a bit nutty. Pooing is my favourite hobby. Good day to you Sir!

1

u/SissySlutColleen Sep 23 '22

I'm confused, do you think it goes directly upwards? You do understand it's not shooting toilet bowl water up, right? The nozzle is at an angle. Water falls down into the toilet bowl

2

u/PM_LIFE_STORY_PLEASE Sep 23 '22

Idk I'm not sure ok I'm scared

-1

u/trickmind Sep 22 '22

Bidets were for washing sperm out to try and prevent pregnancy. They weren't supposed to be for anything else.

0

u/crankyrhino Sep 22 '22

A bidet doesn't get the balloon knot all clean either.

2

u/ItsScaryTerryBitch Sep 22 '22

If you have to ask, you aren't ready

2

u/wannabesq Sep 22 '22

but if they explained it it would have ruined the mystery

2

u/VoyagerCSL Sep 22 '22

The joke is that the audience, being from the same era as the protagonist, has no more of a clue as to how the three seashells work than he does. To explain how they work would ruin the joke.

2

u/carryoutsalt Sep 22 '22

Like spoons, one to use one to use next and one drying after being washed

2

u/BurnzillabydaBay Sep 22 '22

That’s what I’m afraid of. Like spoons 🤮

2

u/theHoustonian Sep 22 '22

Hey everyone, this guy doesn’t know how to use the three shells! 🤯 I can’t imagine how they must do it!

/s

2

u/BurnzillabydaBay Sep 23 '22

Someone in this comment section gave a believable analysis about them being the 3 setting of a bidet. A bidet is the way to go if one is able so it makes sense that such a modern society would have done away with TP

2

u/m0shing_smurf Sep 22 '22

Guys… they don’t know how to use the shells snicker

2

u/prototypex86 Sep 22 '22

Hey guys! He doesn't know how the three sea shells work! Lmao

2

u/Apiperofhades Sep 22 '22

Rob Schneider explained in one interview it's a joke referencing a special brand of toilet paper.

https://youtu.be/5AAXAdeFYuE

1

u/BurnzillabydaBay Sep 23 '22

Holy. Shit. Thank you so much. I can check that off the list.

2

u/PonytailDM Sep 23 '22

In the movie, “shells” is a provincial-specific plural colloquial-verb used to describe the action of stomping violently into a drainage opening. Everyone in L.A. waffle stomps in the future.

1

u/BurnzillabydaBay Sep 23 '22

Gross.

Some wonderful Redditor posted a link of Rob Sneider talking about what the 3 shells are and what they do

23

u/Merica85 Sep 22 '22

What an amazing movie that I'll never say no to watching

20

u/diydiggdug123 Sep 22 '22

Funny thing that Taco Bell was the only chain to last in the future…

11

u/Hopeful_Hamster21 Sep 22 '22

Actually, it was Pizza Hut.

Got into an argument with a coworker over pizza hut vs taco bell. Turns out, the US release referenced Taco Bell, and the international release referenced pizza hut! https://www.cbr.com/demolition-man-taco-ball-pizza-hut-switch/

4

u/diydiggdug123 Sep 22 '22

That’s a great trivia question!

50

u/black-kramer Sep 22 '22

I've been searching for some metallic seashells to put on my toilet tank. they'll look great next to the framed jay sherman "it stinks!" photo I have hanging in there.

23

u/Pandalynn78 Sep 22 '22

I have three seashells on top of my toilet tank. I judge people on if they get it or not. 😆

26

u/Spider_Dude Sep 22 '22

I'd judge them even more if they use them.

18

u/SovietSunrise Sep 22 '22

I just realised….how many people got seashells for their toilets after 1993? Damn. Never thought of this.

3

u/Hopeful_Hamster21 Sep 22 '22

They never said what kind of shells... So I'm picturing a fragile sand dollar, a giant clam shell, and a lobster claw.

4

u/Pandalynn78 Sep 22 '22

As long as it’s not Murex Ramosus. You wipe your ass with one of those you would definitely violate the verbal morality statute.

1

u/LeatherPuppy Sep 23 '22

No the zebra mollusk shell is for wiping

14

u/pauly13771377 Sep 22 '22

the framed jay sherman "it stinks!" photo

You good sir are my hero. I may be copying your toilet decor but will be sure to give you the credit you so deserve.

2

u/AffectionateCrazy156 Sep 23 '22

How would that work exactly? Does one put a framed certificate saying Inspired by Black Kramer? Cuz I feel like that would be a great conversation starter.

1

u/Skaid Sep 22 '22

Try telling me THIS isn't the perfect bathroom picture

0

u/pauly13771377 Sep 22 '22

Slap stick/overacting Jim Carrey just isn't my brand of humor.

3

u/TheAngriestDM Sep 22 '22

I’ve been tempted for a few months to buy some shells and spray paint them…like…irresponsibly tempted.

2

u/piratepoetpriest Sep 22 '22

Be the change you wish to see in the loo.

3

u/TheAngriestDM Sep 22 '22

Welp. Time to make some fiscally irresponsible decisions

2

u/thefnordisonmyfoot01 Sep 22 '22

Got Zappa on the Crappa over mine

2

u/Fat_Sow Sep 23 '22

"Yes Mr Sherman, everything stinks"

33

u/Pope00 Sep 22 '22

He doesn’t know how to use the three sea shells!

15

u/Deadmemories8683 Sep 22 '22

begins cussing out machine to get toilet paper

16

u/imontoyou89 Sep 22 '22

You are fined 1 credit for a violation of the verbal morality statutes

2

u/Omegaman1011 Sep 22 '22

I forgot which movie was the one with the ATM that called someone an asshole.

1

u/EmilioFreshtevez Sep 23 '22

begins cussing out Klan members to get toilet paper

4

u/Disastrous-Menu_yum Sep 22 '22

After you had your five star tacobell

3

u/PubesOnTheSoap Sep 22 '22

The ole shell game . Keep your eye on it! swap, swap,swap, now where’s the 💩 ?!?

3

u/Richard_AIGuy Sep 22 '22

He doesn't know how to use the three seashells!

3

u/HIGH_Idaho Sep 22 '22

He doesn't know how to use the seashells! Lol!

3

u/Papa_Emeritus_IIII Sep 22 '22

😂 He doesn't know how to use the three sea shells.

6

u/Deadmemories8683 Sep 22 '22

es un hamburguesa de rata!

2

u/flissfloss86 Sep 22 '22

....this is a rat burger?

.....Not bad

2

u/gen2600 Sep 22 '22

Man, I never figured that one out.

2

u/wobbles89 Sep 22 '22

The three seashells still keep me up at night...... how?

2

u/Nae_Danger Sep 22 '22

Or the three K's.

2

u/mvs7142 Sep 22 '22

What's your boggle?

2

u/dragonmoonsilk Sep 22 '22

Came here to say the same thing🤣🤣

2

u/OrbSwitzer Sep 23 '22

u/deadmemories8683, you have been fined 10 credits for a violation of the oral morality statute.

1

u/Deadmemories8683 Sep 23 '22

How much do you weigh?

1

u/HandlebarHipster Sep 22 '22

Just like it says in the old rhyme,

"Three seashells on the floor," "Three shells but never more." "Two shells to wipe your bum," "The last shell is for having fun."

1

u/WillFerrellsGutFold Sep 22 '22

But he doesn’t know how to use the shells.

1

u/Dallasl298 Sep 22 '22

A corn cob

1

u/Streen012 Sep 22 '22

You deserve a Taco Bell dinner.

1

u/Quotehommel Sep 22 '22

"You need to get a little dirtier, and you need to get a whole lot cleaner"

1

u/B-Town-MusicMan Sep 22 '22

lol he doesn't know about the 3 shells! LOL

1

u/Somebodys Sep 22 '22

I love that this is still a thing.

1

u/yvessaintlamont2 Sep 22 '22

Just curse a lot, get the tickets, and wipe your ass with those. 🙄😂

1

u/Hmm_I_dont_know_man Sep 22 '22

Ha ha ha he doesn’t know how to use the three sea shells

1

u/Congo-Montana Sep 23 '22

The ol' scoop n' slap

1

u/-_Diggler_- Sep 23 '22

Wasn’t the 3 seashells for the shower?

1

u/Magazine-Plane 22h ago

He doest know how to use the three seashells