r/funny Sep 25 '22 Helpful 3 Wholesome 5 Take My Energy 2 hehehehe 1 Masterpiece 1 Wholesome (Pro) 1 Silver 5 Table Slap 1 LOVE! 2

Santa Clara Men’s Cross Country team headshot roundup

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78.2k Upvotes

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8.9k

u/ancientflowers Sep 25 '22

They look like they're between 27 and 36.

1.6k

u/wodandos Sep 25 '22

I watched Everybody Wants Some last weekend and just kept thinking about how the characters looked way too old to be undergrads. This has me reconsidering.

433

u/yourfavfr1end Sep 25 '22

Tbf a lot of them spend more than four years in school.

332

u/john_doekc Sep 25 '22

A lot of people spend 6 years in school. They're called doctors.

241

u/IgotCHUbits Sep 25 '22

Shut up Richard

77

u/generalhambone Sep 25 '22

Just a shade under a decade, too, alriiiiiight.

33

u/MikeyBoy2891 Sep 25 '22

I hear a 9’er in there?

18

u/BulkyOrder9 Sep 25 '22

Nah it was a cordless

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200

u/Herpes-in-space Sep 25 '22

They are emulating old styles which makes us think of them as if they were this age in 1980.

18

u/Farm_Aceutical Sep 25 '22

Spot on. It’s like looking at my parents year book. 1000% old school

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15

u/luc1054 Sep 25 '22

Such a good film!

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296

u/GeorgieWashington Sep 25 '22

And in 30 years this pic will be reposted with a title like, “why did everyone in the 20s looks so old?”

163

u/fatkiddown Sep 25 '22

Three of my four grandparents smoked cigarettes. Most of us grew up in the 60s and 70s in cigarette smoke-filled houses eating diets rich in animal fats and Coco pebbles. By the time we graduated high school at 18 years old we were already 40.

33

u/_galaga_ Sep 25 '22

For decades I could instantly recognize when somebody was smoking my dad’s cigarette brand in about a 20’ radius around me. Oh, the memories.

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145

u/Yeahthisisntgreat Sep 25 '22

I'm assuming it's all the sun damage.

35

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

Fat in your face also helps keep a younger appearance, these guys have absolutely no fat on any part of their bodies lol.

26

u/tookmyname Sep 25 '22

Worth it

16

u/second2no1 Sep 25 '22

I think half of them lost a bet

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1.3k

u/Far-Philosophy-4375 Sep 25 '22

What mood are you today?

742

u/TelephoneTag2123 Sep 25 '22

Half mustache

297

u/DONEDIRTCHEAPPP Sep 25 '22

Bowl cut mullet

69

u/Sonoshitthereiwas Sep 25 '22

This is the one that is truly committed to the bit

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11.9k

u/molesterholt Sep 25 '22 Take My Energy

The dude with half a mustache 🤣

4.2k

u/bdizzzzzle Sep 25 '22 Silver

It's on their website and there's more dudes it's hilarious

https://www.santaclarabroncos.com/sports/c-xc/2022-23/mwroster

425

u/DJStillAlive Sep 25 '22

If you'd rather see the whole gallery at once, this link will work:
https://www.santaclarabroncos.com/sports/c-xc/2022-23/mroster?view=headshot

99

u/Whoa_Bundy Sep 25 '22

It's kind of funny that you can't tell with some

12

u/sooprvylyn Sep 25 '22

The ones who in any other lineup might just be their normal look.

58

u/MLaw2008 Sep 25 '22

What's funny about this is that the LEAST weird guy is the one who's not cool.

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145

u/QuantumKittydynamics Sep 25 '22

Omg. I don't know why, but Ishaan Singh is definitely my favorite. Absolutely fantastic.

74

u/ebobbumman Sep 25 '22

He sees you. He sees you and he knows.

32

u/Lexi_Banner Sep 25 '22

Same! He belongs in one of those high drama Bollywood soaps as the Unnecessarily Evil Man!

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3.7k

u/WaldenFont Sep 25 '22

All the girls look normal. I smell some kind of doofus pact among the guys.

2.8k

u/The5Virtues Sep 25 '22

Oh for sure. The odds of every single one of them being this ridiculous looking all on photo day? They definitely all were trying to out doofus one another; the half mustache guarantees it.

1.2k

u/The_Ok_Dimension1302 Sep 25 '22 Silver Take My Energy

Definitely. When i got to him i knew it was a goof off. but half-stache man really wins. He's got that chaotic Gomez Addams energy about him.

235

u/CPAlcoholic Sep 25 '22

Just kept getting better the longe I looked at it

27

u/sentimental_goat Sep 25 '22

From here on out every hot guy is gonna get labeled either Harvey or Spencer.

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55

u/pokahi Sep 25 '22

Yo, it's about those Dupree boys!

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58

u/laffnlemming Sep 25 '22

He needs the eyes from the guy directly above.

8

u/nul_ne_sait Sep 25 '22

I went back to look, and thought “Gomez?” Because he really does look like he’d duel you while simultaneously extolling the virtues of Morticia.

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90

u/RedditorsAreDross Sep 25 '22

Really? What gave it away?

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113

u/the_gooch_smoocher Sep 25 '22

You would make a fantastic detective.

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186

u/Tulkes Sep 25 '22

It's Cross Country, the most chill and doofus sport in High School Athletics.

Many teams do stuff like this, it's all part of running culture.

Source: was on a team in 2000s/2010, and we all grew moptops for senior year, even for senior photos. We also wore shitloads of tie dye together.

166

u/moashwillberedeemed Sep 25 '22

Our guys High School team got to design their own slogan for t-shirts. They tried to get all kinds of dirty double entendre through, but the coach caught them all and rejected them. Finally, someone had a brilliant idea:

“It’s hard to run hard.”

Just subtle enough to sneak by and just obvious enough that once you know, you know.

69

u/ccrunn3r4lif3 Sep 25 '22

Is the Dick Pond Athletics running store still a thing? Way back when (graduated high school in 2002) it was just a magazine that you could order from that we'd get a team discount for our spikes.

Anyway, they had a t-shirt one year that simply read "See Dick. Run" and then had a few sponsors on the back. Got in trouble wearing them to school on a race day (a teacher took (a personal) offense) and told we couldn't anymore. So we'd just change in to them on the bus going to races/invitationals.

Always loved the laughter that would break out during our warm ups when we'd jog by other teams.

25

u/AdChemical1663 Sep 25 '22

My entire girls team bought that shirt. We debuted them at a weekend invitational. Our coach was….not amused.

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13

u/Tulkes Sep 25 '22

That is exactly what I expect and praise in good design for that purpose. Ambiguous enough to not be an obvious double entendre ;)

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330

u/Realistic_Tutor_9770 Sep 25 '22

the girls just didnt get the memo

74

u/TristeroDiesIrae Sep 25 '22

The meme-o.

33

u/StopReadingMyUser Sep 25 '22

was his name-o

20

u/deckardmb Sep 25 '22

Em, Ee, Em-Ee-Oh, Em, Ee, Em-Ee-Oh...

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29

u/brkh47 Sep 25 '22

Nor, I think did no.4 on the bottom row. Or maybe he just can’t take a bad photo.

Top row, no.s 1, 3, 5 and 6, really committed with facial expressions as well.

Bottom row no. 1 dead ringer for Ed Norton.

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25

u/kopecs Sep 25 '22

Well, there was one that looked a little bit on something lol.

14

u/journeyman369 Sep 25 '22

More than one.

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220

u/NorwayNarwhal Sep 25 '22

Most mens cross country teams are the goofiest group of guys you’ll ever meet.

My college team would take a picture in the hotel bathroom before natties wearing underwear, ties, and mustaches and nothing else every year. All 8 of us. In one (small) bathroom

87

u/Active-Ad3977 Sep 25 '22

The cross country team at my high school was the nicest, least douchy sports team, and they definitely seemed to have quite the rapport with each other. My sister went to the rival school and she said it was the same there

77

u/SlippySlappySamson Sep 25 '22

People forget that cross country is very much a team sport. And it's a team that goes through a fair deal of physical pain day in and day out together.

Every XC team I've been on has been relatively close-knit.

38

u/Pedantic_Pict Sep 25 '22

Amen. I ran CC in highschool. We were def a little trauma bonded.

8

u/ShreddedKyloRen Sep 25 '22

Yeah, those 12 mile runs in the summer, hill repeats and intervals make you all a little loopy. Good times though, don’t think I have ever laughed as hard in my life as I did back in my XC days with my teammates.

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22

u/aacosta013 Sep 25 '22 edited Sep 25 '22

Routine function of mens teams. I have a few golden ones I can never share of an Olympic champ🤣

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5

u/xoskxflip Sep 25 '22

I could smell it by glancing at the pic on this post

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26

u/txsxxphxx2 Sep 25 '22

EJ Odocayen Cruz is my spirit animal

72

u/pimp_skitters Sep 25 '22

I am fucking crying with laughter, good to see them having such commitment to this gag

7

u/Mdizzle29 Sep 25 '22

Same. So good

172

u/feed-me-your-secrets Sep 25 '22

Why is my school on the front page of Reddit for THIS lmao?

108

u/YouJustDid Sep 25 '22

well, what else you got?

62

u/phi186 Sep 25 '22

Clearly this jabroni isn’t noteworthy boom roasted

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25

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22 edited Nov 01 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

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30

u/ZarrowShuffle Sep 25 '22

Hey, better than my school that got on the front page a few years back because someone broke into the FREE condom dispenser, and stole all the FREE condoms.

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8

u/maximian Sep 25 '22

These are the hits tho

10

u/haoken Sep 25 '22

Dominic Biococcio 👌

47

u/Son_of_Kong Sep 25 '22

Dion Dupree is my hero.

26

u/plinky4 Sep 25 '22

Team DeVon roll up

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155

u/Shermutt Sep 25 '22

And Neil Patrick Harris' meth-head little brother

16

u/TripleBobRoss Sep 25 '22

It was the first thing I noticed before I even saw the rest of the picture. Fuckin NPH.

25

u/phishdood555 Sep 25 '22

He’s my favorite of the bunch.

72

u/Chonkie Sep 25 '22 Helpful

Doobie Howser, MDMA.

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32

u/gynoceros Sep 25 '22

Seriously, I was chuckling all along then I got to him and cackled for several seconds.

7

u/Black_Floyd47 Sep 25 '22

So glad he was last

10

u/nursejackieoface Sep 25 '22

half a mustache

And one and a half eyebrows?

6

u/tickingkitty Sep 25 '22

He is rocking that half mustache.

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1.6k

u/Equal-Negotiation651 Sep 25 '22

They have a lot of time to think about being funny. Good job, boys.

443

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22 edited Oct 27 '22

[deleted]

52

u/mandarino13 Sep 25 '22

Always upvote Maiden. Irons up 🤘

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16

u/Single-Document-9590 Sep 25 '22

...I felt that...

13 miles yesterday

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124

u/jim10040 Sep 25 '22

Running cross country will do that to you.

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1.5k

u/Waterzilla Sep 25 '22

Went to a cross country party one night and it ended with dudes running around naked. An interesting breed

386

u/frothysmile Sep 25 '22

You are lucky to be allowed in their presence. Cross country is even more exclusive and secretive than the free masons or illuminati.

I envy you.

284

u/I-am-mclovin2 Sep 25 '22

Yeah we have a local chapter of a XC running group - “drinkers with a running problem.” I met them at a Halloween party. Naturally, they were in gimp/dominatrix attire.

119

u/aiming_for_adorkable Sep 25 '22 Take My Energy

Naturally.

51

u/hotmess_betherdeen Sep 25 '22

You met hashers! Check out your local hash kennels… it’s worth it!

20

u/SansK Sep 25 '22

on-on

27

u/nonpondo Sep 25 '22

What the fuck are you all talking about

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344

u/HelmSpicy Sep 25 '22

I had some XC friends in college and they were some of the weirdest fuckers I ever met but I always had a blast with them.

One of those friends was actually roommates with bushy haired Eric from Survivor since they were on the XC team together.

When the song Boom Boom Boom by The Vegas Boys came on at their parties it was an event to say the least.

132

u/wallerc15 Sep 25 '22

As a former XC runner, i can attest that we are weird

14

u/Dumpster-Fire2 Sep 25 '22

As a current XC runner, I second this

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61

u/A_of Sep 25 '22

The Vegas Boys

You meant Vengaboys right?

13

u/aclickbaittitle Sep 25 '22

The vegan boys

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16

u/make_love_to_potato Sep 25 '22

Venga boys.....man that brings back memories.

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92

u/heresyforfunnprofit Sep 25 '22

I miss XC soooo much…

113

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

Ah, highschool. Seems like XC teams being wild is a universal thing. Pretty sure it’s a symptom of mentally breaking yourself so you can run your toenails off.

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293

u/TheCurls Sep 25 '22

Guy second from the left on the top row looks like Anthony Kiedis from the Chili Peppers.

64

u/GeeISuppose Sep 25 '22

Anthony Cletus, more like.

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742

u/bikeidaho Sep 25 '22

Seems about right for a XC team...

347

u/SevoIsoDes Sep 25 '22

It totally is. A very specific type of kid runs cross country and they all seem to have this type of humor

260

u/tyme Sep 25 '22

As a former XC runner, XC attracts the weirdest personalities.

Normal people don’t do 12 mile runs to train for 3.1 mile runs.

(Ok, we only did the 12 mile once - but still…)

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65

u/wolfgang2399 Sep 25 '22

Ummm my daughter is in 7th grade and started XC this year….should I be worried?

97

u/Lessssgo Sep 25 '22

Nah, cross country boys teams are usually full of good students and respectable guys. They’re just weird as hell. Especially once you run at college.

35

u/sharpshooter999 Sep 25 '22

They're the fun kind of weird, not the creepy weird

56

u/varrock_dark_wizard Sep 25 '22

Your daughters highschool boyfriends are going to be some of the funniest people of all time

106

u/bikeidaho Sep 25 '22

Nah, you should be proud. XC folks are some of the best people I know!

66

u/Aetherpor Sep 25 '22

The girls are mostly fine. The guys are hilarious.

6

u/unknownemoji Sep 25 '22

The short time I did XC, I learned that whoever was leading at the spot the media team had their camera would make the hs sports page.

So, while everyone else is pacing, my two friends and I would flat out run the first mile or so and then walk (crawl) the rest of the way.

Made the coach so mad...

13

u/jasekj919 Sep 25 '22

Honestly, it's often a great group of people. It's an accepting ethos, because everyone is allowed in. They work hard, because the sport is work. That often translates to school as well. We had a salutatorian and a bunch of top 20 students on our team. They're weird, because why would anyone want to go run to that tree three miles away only to have to turn around and run back.

7

u/wolfgang2399 Sep 25 '22

From the meets I’ve been to everyone seems, just, nice. It’s not the same kind of competitiveness that comes at a basketball game or softball game where people get so mad. Everyone is just really nice and encouraging to everyone.

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4

u/SevoIsoDes Sep 25 '22

Nope. Cross country kids are the best kids.

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73

u/metallican989 Sep 25 '22

Ran XC in high school and college. Weirdest but most accepting people there are.

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u/descendency Sep 25 '22 edited Sep 26 '22

XC team wanted (motto): Will run in rain… waning: slippery when wet.

Coach (wisely) vetoed it.

I forgot why the punchline was funny… the school mascot was the Trojans.

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u/Janicesdelight Sep 25 '22

This is a key&peele sketch swear down

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1.1k

u/underated_imbecile Sep 25 '22

Lmao only "normal" looking one is below Napoleon Dynamite's clone

199

u/Pea-and-Pen Sep 25 '22

I was trying to figure out who he reminded me of. That’s it.

36

u/enak_raskell Sep 25 '22

"Sorry guys I can't... My mom will kill me."

105

u/devo_inc Sep 25 '22

I think you mean his brother Kip

27

u/tjmann96 Sep 25 '22

Glad I wasn't the only one

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343

u/ac2cvn_71 Sep 25 '22

I love every one of those pics

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244

u/CountryNerd Sep 25 '22

Out here looking like a dev team

46

u/firstnameok Sep 25 '22

Oof. That's funny. That's an angle I hadn't thought of and it's wildly appropriate.

7

u/nithos Sep 25 '22

These guys fork (an open source GitHub repo).

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889

u/cravin_mor Sep 25 '22 edited Sep 25 '22

Reminds me of Key & Peele's football roster skit:

https://youtu.be/gODZzSOelss?t=23

edit: yay, this is my most upvoted comment yet ^^, thanks dudes and dudettes.

549

u/EMPulseKC Sep 25 '22 Gold Helpful hehehehe Timeless Beauty

Top row:

  • Alfonso Alonzo Jones
  • Greg McGuffle
  • Darius Aquarius
  • Dash Packnutz
  • Bertrand Williamson-Williams
  • Scooter

Bottom row:

  • Archibald J. Boffington III
  • Hamm Pamble
  • Jerry Gurdy Methurdy
  • Chase Van Der Griff
  • Floyd Wallace
  • Wallace Floyd

82

u/soft_nibba_hours Sep 25 '22

you did this perfectly, putting these names to the faces had me crying

8

u/ChillyBearGrylls Sep 25 '22

Top row #4

Aegon II in a different timeline

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283

u/-Anonymously- Sep 25 '22

Dan Smith BYU

67

u/TempleSquare Sep 25 '22

Dan Smith BYU

I was a staff employee at BYU when an undergrad student employee sat me down and watch that skit.

I was chuckling pretty good at the rest (e.g., "The Athlete Formerly Know as MouseCop... Colorado State... Penitentiary").

But then we hit Dan Smith. I nearly ended up in the hospital. Hilarious!

90

u/Talksiq Sep 25 '22

A-A-Ron. Rodgers. CAL.

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50

u/KeegorTheDestroyer Sep 25 '22

Can't beat Hardunkichud

5

u/Ritsku Sep 25 '22

Yeah right you seen the thighs on X-Wing at training camp??? Dudes got mountains for legs

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40

u/Archduke_Of_Beer Sep 25 '22

The Player Formally Known As Mousecop would've lit the league up if he hadn't blown out his knee!!!

26

u/gr33nspan Sep 25 '22

Nevada State. Penitentiary.

19

u/Kill_U_Ricky_Spanish Sep 25 '22

Jackmerius Tacktheratrix is unstoppable bro

49

u/VerityParody Sep 25 '22

I started laughing before I clicked the link.

13

u/JPizzlesaurus Sep 25 '22

Devon Shower-Handle

46

u/mariemarymaria Sep 25 '22

AAAAAA AAAAAAAAAA

43

u/techGore60 Sep 25 '22

Donkey Teeth

13

u/Fr0me Sep 25 '22

Hingle McCringleberry

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43

u/Gobells12785 Sep 25 '22

Go broncos!

171

u/Paneechio Sep 25 '22

When describing any of these fine young gentlemen the word "motherfucker" comes to mind.

46

u/Lady-finger Sep 25 '22

I was thinking 'what a load of chucklefucks'

54

u/SisterWicked Sep 25 '22

LOL that was my first thought, like "Look at these motherfuckers here"

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36

u/ayyyee9 Sep 25 '22

Sounds about right for Santa Clara!

32

u/Capt_Crunchy_Nut Sep 25 '22

Of course bowlcut boy is Tasmanian.

82

u/throoawoot Sep 25 '22

It's a certain type that runs cross country, isn't it?

34

u/iiitme Sep 25 '22

From who I’ve met the answer is yet

19

u/Nervous_Constant_642 Sep 25 '22

You're a poet and you didn't even realize it.

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77

u/HaffuhGootWon Sep 25 '22

Neil Patrick Harris running cross country

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74

u/NixyVixy Sep 25 '22

This made me laugh so hard. I love everything about it. Runners are a weird breed of people and I’m glad these guys are obviously having fun.

20

u/AethelBlackheart Sep 25 '22

It just feels like their parents clicked on the "randomize" button on the character creation screen

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404

u/Ahnhel Sep 25 '22

I don't get what's so humorous about this. I see nothing but studs here.

145

u/My4skinBreaksCondoms Sep 25 '22

Like seriously. Handsome, fit men all with a sense of humor...sign me up!*

* as long as i don't have to run

20

u/AndroidMyAndroid Sep 25 '22

I wouldn't worry, they're not swimmers

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38

u/Ellusive1 Sep 25 '22

Did you see the guy with the half moustache?

97

u/WillytheWimp1 Sep 25 '22 Wholesome

He ain’t half bad.

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17

u/ClassicMcJesus Sep 25 '22

Next season's cast lineup for Reno 911. Looking swaggy!

48

u/Samusxavier Sep 25 '22

They are representing a form of beauty and perfection the rest of us could never dream of reaching

15

u/Downiemcgee Sep 25 '22

They definitely set this up to look as greasy as possible, legends. Me and my friends did a camping trip in rural Alberta and all gave ourselves handlebar mustaches for absolute immersion (and a lifelong inside joke)

38

u/NotAHamsterAtAll Sep 25 '22

This image will soon reach North Korean news.

"Here are the only 12 legal hairstyles in the West"

13

u/Pachyderm_Powertrip Sep 25 '22

I hope half mustache's take off.

13

u/the_chaco_kid Sep 25 '22

This looks like the lineup intros from the East/West Bowl

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u/new_refugee123456789 Sep 25 '22 Silver Wholesome

left to right, top to bottom:

  • Just realized how expensive the car he side swiped in a parking lot was
  • trying to sell me pool chemicals
  • in the middle of ordering a pizza
  • trying to talk me into loaning him $40
  • begging his girlfriend to say
  • guy taking the photo just said something alarmingly racist
  • filming a Youtube ad for Manscaped
  • not paying attention in Algebra
  • just saw his coworker knock over every single shelf in the warehouse with the forklift
  • the bad guy in a 70's kung fu movie set in America
  • the good guy in a 70's kung fu movie set in America
  • If the other guy lost the bet he would have had to have chugged like, an entire gallon of mayonnaise.

8

u/oceansunset83 Sep 25 '22

I’m tearing up, this made me laugh so hard.

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12

u/Sailorman2300 Sep 25 '22

This is the best thing ever. I wanna hang out with these cats.

12

u/Eckz89 Sep 25 '22

The bowl cut, 2nd photo is from Hobart, Tasmania Australia. Fuck yeah brother. Show them how we don't give a fuck down under

60

u/nevbartos Sep 25 '22

What mad dogs for going through with the bet. Absolute legends

43

u/HouseOf42 Sep 25 '22

A bet? Or a visualization of doing something "for shits and gigs".

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10

u/manybaronesses Sep 25 '22

Absolute school pride right here. Go broncos.

7

u/soft_nibba_hours Sep 25 '22

the half mustache guy has me dying every time i look at him again. this is beautiful

7

u/Ambitious-Revenue-66 Sep 25 '22

Disheveled Neil Patrick Harris third from bottom left…

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7

u/Incognito_Jedi Sep 25 '22

1/2 mustache wins hhhha

21

u/getyourcheftogether Sep 25 '22

God I love this lol

27

u/Cockspert67 Sep 25 '22

One looks like he needs to take a shit, one looks like he just came back from taking a life-altering dump, like, three of them look like they shouldn’t be within 400ft of an elementary school, and the rest look like drugs. Edit: Almost forgot the guy who really doesn’t want to be here today.

5

u/Egg_123_ Sep 25 '22

Dang, the East-West Bowl is early this year!

6

u/SubjectElderberry376 Sep 25 '22

I can’t.. lol choked on my coffee when this showed up. 😂 Some great ideas for character creation for make your own character in a MMO

6

u/diarrheaonyourface Sep 25 '22

Jesus Stanford really is the school full of this biggest fucking nerds of all time

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6

u/xSTSxZerglingOne Sep 25 '22

In the second grouping, bottom left. Didn't know Ryan Gosling runs cross country.

4

u/AloisKernwein Sep 25 '22

Looks like a Wes Anderson Movie Poster