r/nextfuckinglevel Sep 24 '22

Cool as a cucumber. NSFW

62.5k Upvotes

16.3k

u/paulsmt Sep 24 '22

Adrenaline is a powerful drug

9.8k

u/Mr_Kama Sep 25 '22

Not after 3 miles walking my friend. This man is a powerful drug!

3.3k

u/dnewaccount Sep 25 '22

Everything broken except his phone. Saving the phone for this?

2.3k

u/TreeLovTequiLove Sep 25 '22

Camera function doesn't require a signal.

928

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/UnarmedEmbodiment Sep 25 '22

Yup, he said his legs are good, so.

851

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

And by extension, his massive brass balls are good too.

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u/kemushi_warui Sep 25 '22

He probably saved it to use when he got to the hospital, when he knew was safe. Before that it would have been dumb to waste his battery in case he needed it to call for help, a flashlight, etc.

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u/BoopinSnoots24-7 Sep 25 '22

I mean I can’t really imagine a better time to “call for help” lol

139

u/PajamaDuelist Sep 25 '22

In some rural areas, even if you have signal (unlikely), the emergency response time can be hours. From the sounds of it, he was a 3 hour walk into the bush. An ambulance ain't getting there any time soon.

Ol' homie was probably better off dragging his massive balls 3 miles to his truck than calling for help.

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u/NECRO_PASTORAL Sep 25 '22

yeah to expound on your if he's mobile his life probably depends on not being rescued at that point. 3 hours walking vs 6+ for rescue is make or break when you have a compound fracture and several deep lacerations like that. his major points of circulation seemed to be ok but still massively bleeding. not to mention getting out of bear country

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u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

He said his legs were fine, probably had the phone in his pocket.

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u/IamPlantHead Sep 25 '22

Many hunters keep their phones in their truck. Because even on vibrate it has a noise. And if we find that noise annoying, think of the wildlife. If anything he probably got back to his truck on adrenaline, probably made the call to 911, his family “hey so babe, I got attacked by a bear.” <wife/girlfriend> “are you ok?” He then explains all what we see in the video., then made the video as a distraction from the pain (his arm shaking is a sign of adrenaline running low (speaking from experience on how a body can crash after said depletion of adrenaline.)

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u/SeaJay24 Sep 25 '22

Because even on vibrate it has a noise.

what if it's on silent

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u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

[deleted]

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u/Double_Distribution8 Sep 25 '22

The animals can detect the 5G rays from about a half mile away.

You cant silence rays.

Best to leave it in the truck, wrapped in foil.

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u/chunderbutter Sep 25 '22

I highly doubt he was hunting, why would he use bear spray instead of his gun if he had one with him?

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u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

Depends what you’ve got but bear spray beats a gun 9/10 time with a grizzly

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u/Waywoah Sep 25 '22

Depending on the type of gun/bullet, bear spray might be more effective.

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u/arselkorv Sep 25 '22

He is filming by holding the phone between his toes

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u/Raytheon_Nublinski Sep 25 '22

If he’s in America his bank account is about to be perma broke.

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u/krista Sep 25 '22

yup.

driving home, i was broadsided by a tweenager running a red light at 65+ mph and my car was nearly cut in two. i was taken code yellow by ambulance to the nearest emergency room and immediately placed on the operating room table.

luckily the doctors decided i wasn't bleeding bad enough internally to need surgery, so i was patched up, observed, and sent home. it took over a year to recover... physically... and there's a few things that never will.

despite it being the other driver's fault and despite ”winning” all of the other driver's insurance, my insurance, and the ”underinsured driver” rider (optional paid extra) on my policy, i just declared bankruptcy and am a couple hundred thousand dollars in debt from the fallout.

guess which country i live in?

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u/Raytheon_Nublinski Sep 25 '22

It’s this country’s appalling take on healthcare that led me to the conclusion it’s in no way shape or form the greatest country on earth.

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u/murderbox Sep 25 '22

Can we sue a bear?

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u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

[deleted]

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u/yumansuck Sep 25 '22

Same thing we did before they were invented

80

u/HentaiLover2464 Sep 25 '22

And then invent them at some point

37

u/mysticfed0ra Sep 25 '22

ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF LIIIIIIIFE

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u/afa78 Sep 25 '22

Just make shit up so future generations could swallow it, like religion for example..

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u/whitelighthurts Sep 25 '22 edited Sep 25 '22

The same exact thing happens online all the time. There’s just 1 million tiny cults instead of six big ones. The people are equally as brainwashed and uneducated- the only thing that matters to the powers that be is that they are distracted by something other than reality.

Also, consider this, religion was the primitive (and in ways much more effective) video camera. What stops a man from commuting a crime without eye witnesses? Religion and it’s threat of eternal damnation.

For almost 2000 years, the Christians had people convinced that no matter where you go there’s always an eye watching you. You are born a sinner and MUST follow the rules to get in heaven.

It gives the impoverished hope for an afterlife and a lesser reason to revolt (for many reasons), it keeps the average man feeling like he is always watched and thus controlled, and even kings had to bow to the church and go to it for blessings for many periods of Christianity and especially Catholicism. The church was the highest authority and above all men.

Lots of control coming out of a book trying to give you freedom

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u/VisVonCountMortua Sep 25 '22

Uhhh just for clarification… a cellphone isn’t only used for pictures and videos 👀 it can be quite useful for emergencies… especially in the middle of… oh I don’t know… bear county… just saying

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u/IfIReplyUProbDumbGuy Sep 25 '22

“… yes I’ve asked her to —“

mauling sounds

“… stop mauling me and yet —“

mauling sounds

“… she persists in her maul—“

mauling sounds

“… please send police and med—“

mauling sounds

3 miles later

“… so don’t forget to smash that like button and subscribe”

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u/benargee Sep 25 '22

Better to find a dead guy with a phone recording than a guy without a recording. I'm sure he would call if he had signal. Probably a good use case for Apple's Satellite communication feature. I wonder if there is an option for "Bleeding from a bear mauling"?

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u/wheresbill Sep 25 '22

He’s in shock

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u/hafree27 Sep 25 '22

I have to think that this man crashed HARD when he got to a safe place. Holy shit- what stamina.

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u/compounding Sep 25 '22 edited Sep 25 '22

Shock crashes are something else. I had a bad climbing fall and had to self triage for about 20 minutes hanging in my harness while my climbing partner ascended from another gully, built an anchor and rescue repelled down to move me to a stable location. I thought I was doing pretty badass considering situation. Explained the situation to my partner through yelling, got my first aid kit out of the backpack, pressure bandages applied and major bleeding stopped. Checked for broken bones, etc.

But the second we hit a stable position and my partner started caring for me it was like my brain exploded with the seriousness of the situation. I started crying, hyperventilating, and nearly passed out all within about 30 seconds of getting moderately “safe”.

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u/hafree27 Sep 25 '22

You own a Total Badass Medal. Being able to keep it together is a vastly underestimated master life skill. Once you’re safe, let that vulnerability/fear energy FLY. Keeping it together when you really having to fuck to? Next level.

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u/LostWoodsInTheField Sep 25 '22

"sir you are safe now you can relax."

"you sure?"

"yes sir, we have you, we are going to take care of you"

"ok."

*proceeds to scream for 30 minutes

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u/nonamethoughtofnow Sep 25 '22 edited Sep 25 '22

Absolutely. When I was a kid, I was eating at a sit-down pizza restaurant in the Wisconsin Dells with my family when some guy walked in looking dazed but not particularly concerned, and strolled past some tables near the entrance. No rush or urgency. Nothing out of the ordinary. Except that he was covered in blood and some of his clothes were ripped to shreds. My father was a doctor and approached him. I think they went outside, or at least out of my sight. I don’t remember how long my father was gone with him, but I don’t think it was long. I just remember that, when he returned, my father patiently explained that the man had gotten into a motorcycle accident and was in shock. It made perfect sense and zero sense at the same time. This video brought me right back to that memory.

Edit: I presume an ambulance came and took the guy to get some help. This was not a “are you good?” and then walk away type of injury. I presume my father was with him until the ambulance came, but again I don’t remember much other than the image of the guy when he walked in. This was some 30 years ago.

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u/multiarmform Sep 25 '22

3 miles of shock? gonna crash hard

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u/irondavesd Sep 25 '22

Definitely shock

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u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

I hopped for about 1 mile with a broken tibia and then drove to the hospital. I knew it what broken immediately. Once I was in the hospital, I became light headed and the pain kicked in. Adrenaline is wild.

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u/Merry_Dankmas Sep 25 '22

Adrenaline really is insanely beneficial in the moment besides just pain. I had a very close brush with death in my car. Not gonna go into the full tale but I was young, dumb and wanted to see what my cars max speed was on an empty highway at 2 AM. I lost control going about 140 mph and spun out. As soon as I started to feel the car losing traction, i felt my hear rate spike and its like time slowed down. I could see the barriers and reflectors on the road clearly and every movement I made between the brakes, shifter and steering wheel felt very slowed down and deliberate. It legitimately didn't feel like I was moving fast at all. My body just knew what to do to keep myself from crashing without thinking about it.

Regained traction at around 90 MPH. I was close to home so I just went straight there without stopping or pulling over. It was only when I got into my driveway that i let out a big sigh and started shaking. Couldn't stand up for a couple minutes and just sat in my driveway trying to compose myself. Shit was nutty.

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u/Sjdillon10 Sep 25 '22

It’s honestly remarkable what the human body can do when full of adrenaline

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u/Robot_Basilisk Sep 25 '22

Yet you see threads every day about a human fighting off a bear or killing a cougar with their hands or stealing food from a pride of lions. Outside of threads like this and r/HFY all of reddit seems to think that humans are the weakest animals on the planet.

Which ends up on r/HFY when the stories delve into how absurd it is that a persistence hunter that can chuck a sharpened stick into another animal's throat from 20 yards away spends all of its time dreaming about monsters more scary than it is.

Imagine reading about a creature that can outlast anything else on the planet and go for the kill after the other animal is exhausted, and then adapts to any climate by wearing the skin of things it kills in this way.

Oh, and it's a pack hunter. If there's one chasing you, there are probably more following, or waiting in ambush in the direction the one you can see is chasing you.

Every horror or action movie enemy ends up just being some aspect of humanity dialed up to 11.

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u/Sjdillon10 Sep 25 '22

The capability to throw, use arms, and use intelligence to have way larger groups working together is why we came out on top. And when hunters went in packs they were animals. You still see it today in mob mentality. We turn into legit animals again when we mob.

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u/personalcheesecake Sep 25 '22

yeah but hunting isn't mob mentality, hunting takes perseverance, intelligence and communication.. low emotion. mobs are full of emotional reaction -- it just shows our animal side and how unpredictable we can be..

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u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

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u/BigEndian01000101 Sep 25 '22

The average Redditor or really most people that live with modern comforts are not scary at all.

Are you serious? The average redditor has a license to operate a motor vehicle and probably owns at least one gun. That’s terrifying.

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u/WriterV Sep 25 '22

I like you how you absolutely ignored the point he was making.

It isn't about how scary individual humans are, it's about the species. Our capabilities as a whole, and the effect we have on the world around us and its inhabitants.

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u/CanoePickLocks Sep 25 '22

Shock is amazing. If it doesn’t kill you it let’s you do things like this.

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u/KavensWorld Sep 25 '22 edited Sep 25 '22

S

yep his eyes say it all. he is in fight AND flight fought a bear and ran like hell

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u/bill-clark Sep 25 '22

Fight OR flight. He is in fight mode.

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u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

You could throw a punch and then bounce. Totally fight and flight.

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u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

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u/RFH_LOL Sep 25 '22

I just broke my foot yesterday in a cross-country exam. I broke it at 500 meters and still had 2.5km to go. Decided on the moment to finish it. Still arrived before a lot of people and got an 100. I can't walk today lol.

Edit : I didnt really run 2.5, I was more aggressively skipping with one leg lol

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u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22 edited Sep 25 '22

I broke my leg running home drunk leaping over garbage cans when I was 17, I hopped up after breaking it and ran the last km or so home before someone came to check on the ruckus of me crashing into their garbage cans. It didn't hurt that much for the way home but when I woke up I couldn't lift the weight of my foot to roll over in bed.

Edit- I was running not rubbing .

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u/boddle88 Sep 25 '22

Fucking hell in my day we were allowed to sit exams at a desk!

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u/Thephilosopherkmh Sep 25 '22

True, but when it wears off he’s going be in some serious pain.

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u/PsychologicalServe15 Sep 25 '22

Yup, he definitely felt that the next day

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u/TasteMyVape Sep 25 '22

Any more information post video? Like what he suffered and how well he recovered?

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u/Kochabb Sep 25 '22

His name is Todd Orr and he just about made a full recovery except some nerve damage. Here's a vid where he talks to the news about the ordeal. He even did a Tosh.0 web redemption.

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u/TasteMyVape Sep 25 '22

Thank you very much.

583

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

[deleted]

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u/seitung Sep 25 '22

For real, no part of that video that isn't the direct shot of him talking about his experience adds any value.

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u/tonycomputerguy Sep 25 '22

Longer vids=more ads=more value for the uploader*∞

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u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

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u/NewFaceHalcyon Sep 25 '22

He is an absolute unit

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u/dorky2 Sep 25 '22

Oh gosh, that was in Ennis? I've camped in Ennis. It's beautiful, but it is a little terrifying how wild it is.

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u/7seventyseven Sep 25 '22

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u/7seventyseven Sep 25 '22

Also, someone said this dude, Todd Orr, has been attacked twice. Not sure if it's on the above link. Just stumbled upon this video. Apparently, it's from 2016.

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u/saw-it Sep 25 '22

Legend has it that he’s still waiting for a sign from god to stop going into bear country

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u/MikeyHatesLife Sep 25 '22

That Jamboree is just too gawdamm alluring!

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u/BriefDevelopment3462 Sep 25 '22

It was twice in the same day by the same bear apparently

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u/turnedabout Sep 25 '22

Yeah the video that went viral was after he'd been attacked twice by the same bear.

Sounded like he was attacked, started making his way back to his truck, was attacked again, then walked 3 miles to his truck and filmed the video before going to the hospital.

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u/RONIN_RABB1T Sep 25 '22

Damn...that bear did NOT like that man.

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u/arrenlex Sep 25 '22

It found him unbearable

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u/68ideal Sep 25 '22

Bro got attacked by the same damn Grizzly that even had cubs TWICE in a couple hours and survived to tell the tale. I admire his durability and resilience. Legend.

My dad always said, that being good at fighting is cool, but being able to chuck down one hell of a beating is what really saves your life.

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u/SkipCycle Sep 25 '22

Good to know medical science was able to help him with his recovery. I'm sure it was painful but he looks MUCH better. That is pretty much a real man's man there.

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u/VonDurvish Sep 25 '22

There’s an entire episode of “Something bit me” on his story. He drove himself quite a long ways to the hospital after recording this video. Upon arrival a policeman came to help him out of his truck since he didn’t have the strength to put the car in park. The cop was surprised to see he took the time to put his seatbelt on. Todd’s response was something to the effect of “ I just survived multiple bear attacks, I wasn’t about to die in a car crash on the way here!”

Edit: spelling

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u/LRARBostonTerrier Sep 25 '22

I saw him in a documentary. He made a full recovery.

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u/outis-kaniel Sep 25 '22

Yes! Check out the podcast Tooth and Claw on their Todd Orr episode. Its the best podcast out there, incredibly informative and entertaining. The Todd Orr episode is fantastic. He called his girlfriend on his way to the hospital and didnt tell her he got mauled u til after she got done explaining her plans for the day lmao

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u/medi_navi Sep 25 '22

He did exactly what you’re supposed to do when attacked by a bear. They say wear a really good backpack full of things you need because the bear will most likely just attack the bag if you are in the fetal position covering your neck.

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u/7seventyseven Sep 25 '22

Back in the day, it was playing dead. This dude played the survivor.

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u/PuTheDog Sep 25 '22

He did play dead when the bear circled back to attack him the second time

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u/21RaysofSun Sep 25 '22

That's because he didn't stay in his antibear circle.

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u/Safe_Faithlessness57 Sep 25 '22

Unfortunately that only works on sea bears, not land bears

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u/Pluvi_Isen-Peregrin Sep 25 '22 edited Sep 25 '22

Can you explain that, why the “full of things you need?” Does it have to be needed things? Won’t they just get wrecked lol

Edit Y’all I understand you should hike with shit you need lol the wording just made it seem like it was inherent to the success of your survival that the bear could wreck your needed items and that it would kill you instead if the items were unneeded. *pours another glass of bourbon

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u/Musicboxm8 Sep 25 '22

Because if you’re going on long hikes or hunting you don’t want to carry unnecessary gear. Only the things you may actually need

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u/autoHQ Sep 25 '22

so that the bear can rip up the bag and take all your things that you need?

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u/receptionok2444 Sep 25 '22

All the bear wants is the pic a nic baskets

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u/Apprehensive-Ad-7908 Sep 25 '22

Hey BooBoo I got a pic a nic basket for you

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u/Musicboxm8 Sep 25 '22

I think the logic here is that you’d rather the bear rip up your backpack than rip up your back. It’s an extra layer of protection against the claws. I would think most people value their life more than the things they are carrying in a bag

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u/UnknownJpk Sep 25 '22

Better than ripping your spine out and dying? Not sure what’s confusing here. You aren’t planning to get attacked, just take the things you need for a hike, if you get attacked you’ll be lucky if you survive.

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u/autoHQ Sep 25 '22 edited Sep 25 '22

the wording is weird as to why you need to bring a bag full of things you need. And my comment was just a light joke that the bag needs to be full of things you need, so when the bear rips it apart you've then been attacked by a bear and now missing the things you need.

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u/WINTERMUTE-_- Sep 25 '22

The bear can tell the difference. Using decoy things only pisses the bear off more.

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u/Stoic_Breeze Sep 25 '22

Dude you have no towel in this fake-ass hiker's backpack? That's it. You're getting mauled.

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u/deg287 Sep 25 '22

It sounds strange because it is redundant and doesn’t really give helpful advice. If you are hiking you will already have a backpack and it will already have things you need in it.

The only actual advice in there is curl into a fetal position and protect your neck. The rest is filler.

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u/BuckJackson Sep 25 '22

If the bag is full of fidget spinners that bear will fuck you

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u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

I dunno why but this comment made me literally lol quite a bit thanks

Well you see bears are complete assholes so if the bear sees a backpack full of bullshit you're only going to piss it off even more, whereas if the bag is full of useful items the bear may settle for just trashing your ipad instead of murdering you.

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u/awwwwwwwwwwwwwwSHIT Sep 25 '22

I think they need to start including the following steps in what to do when attacked by bear.

  1. Before going into bear country buy a .454 revolver.
  2. Bring said revolver into bear country
  3. If attacked by a bear, shoot bear with said revolver.

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u/GuiltyEidolon Sep 25 '22

Unlikely to kill, very likely to piss off.

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u/newhandleforprivacy0 Sep 25 '22

yeah, I spent a summer in the Alaskan bush and we always carried shotguns. Nobody ever carried a handgun for a bear.

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u/dangitgrotto Sep 25 '22

I always carry a jet pack. A bear shows up I’ll just fly out of there

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u/goforce5 Sep 25 '22

I hate to be "that guy" but a decently large caliber revolver will pack more of a punch than buckshot, but you're less likely to hit if you haven't trained with it. I'm not saying a shotgun won't work too, but you're more likely to kill a bear with .454 than with 12ga buck. Now with 12ga slugs, you'd be doing similar damage, but the pistol would be easier to lug around if you're hiking.

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u/Swimming_Energy6312 Sep 25 '22

legs are good

internal organs are good

eyes are good

life is good :)

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u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22 edited Sep 25 '22

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u/Far-Bookkeeper-9695 Sep 25 '22

U can tell with the adrenaline going, that's all that keeps going thru his head. "legs good, guts good, I can see.. good.. I'm good.. legs good.. guts.. good.. I'm good.." ad infinitum lol

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u/AxelShoes Sep 25 '22

Years ago I had a cargo van slip and roll onto me while working on it underneath. One of the front wheels (with all the engine weight) came to rest right on my sternum. I felt most my ribs crunch, and when my buddies rolled the van off me a few seconds later, I remember feeling super calm and collected, and just carefully breathing in and out, thinking "Okay, ribs all broke, but I don't think my lungs are punctured. That's good, we'll be okay."

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u/snakeyes17 Sep 25 '22

Fuck that sounds brutal. How was the recovery?

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u/firdausbaik19 Sep 25 '22

I love his "be safe out there" message. Guy is so positive

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u/SpeakerOfDeath Sep 25 '22

I felt so identified with his pragmatism: "yeah I've got bits hanging here and there, but I can SEE, I can WALK and I am not DYING of internal bleeding."

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u/fact-so Sep 25 '22

“If you ever see me and a bear fightin in the woods, help the bear”

-this guy probably

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u/DrinkUpLetsBooBoo Sep 25 '22

"If you're ever on the phone with God and I call you better click over and see what the fuck I want!"

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u/BenjaminGunn Sep 25 '22

What's that from? That's money

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u/DrinkUpLetsBooBoo Sep 25 '22

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u/ZarquonsFlatTire Sep 25 '22

Holy shit I haven't heard that in years.

"So I obliged."

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u/anonymousone89 Sep 25 '22

FUCK YOU, SPOOBY!!

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u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

A lot of comments here, and mine has little to do with this guy's experience, but...

air-horns

People underestimate the power of a stadium air-horn. No mammal can stand a loud blast of amazingly loud sound suddenly aimed in their face and certainly not a forest animal.

source: wildlife biologist who works in AK, BC, WA, and OR and met many bears

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u/BlueFalcon142 Sep 25 '22

200gr 10MM also super effective. Source: had a bear rip open my tent at night and panic fired into its face. I realize that not everyone wants or needs to carry a gun but I'll never not anymore after that, especially when I'm by myself.

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u/baldiesrt Sep 25 '22

What happened to the bear? Became dinner?

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u/Adito99 Sep 25 '22

That's the trouble with grizzlies. It might drop dead and it might just get pissed off and realize it's dead 4 hours later after it rips you apart.

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u/ArMcK Sep 25 '22

I mean, I kinda don't want one to drop dead on top of me, either. Probably not as much as I don't want the other scenario, but still.

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u/gh3ngis_c0nn Sep 25 '22

Actually heard bear tastes pretty good

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u/x777x777x Sep 25 '22

It can vary quite a bit. I've had good black bear sausage and jerky, but sometimes it can be kinda tough and gamey. Also the time of year matters a lot, so does the bear's diet. A fatter bear will be really greasy

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u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

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u/DADCREAMPIEDMOM Sep 25 '22 edited Sep 25 '22

No it’s not. Those studies are not good. People are much more hesitant to deploy firearms.

Talk to anyone in Alaska about this. Both is better but no bear spray in the world equals a bunch of 220gr 10mm hard cast lead bullets. You can get a 30 round mag. That’s 30 10mm bullets, which are the same at 100 yards as a .45 is at the muzzle. It’s much more painful than bear spray and is very loud and if you can put your bullets where they need to be it will in fact kill the bear before it gets to you. You might be able to kill a polar bear with enough 10mm. A long rifle is much better. You only have to shoot a grizzly once with a big game rifle, in actual dangerous game calibers there’s a whole world of cartridges that will put a grizzly down with relative ease. And I can start shootings a bear at 100 or more yards if he’s coming at me, with bear spray you have to wait until they’re on top of you. If I lived in grizzly country I would have like a 45-130 or or a 460 wetherby and just not have to worry about them.

The advantage bear spray has is that it takes real no practice or training, compared to a pistol. If you don’t know how to shoot then a gun is just false security. Pistols take practice, regularly. Rifles are like riding a bicycle, you need to practice like once a year once you know how to shoot it.

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u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

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u/Hefty_Menu6213 Sep 25 '22

I dunno what that other user is on about, but here’s some anecdotal evidence to support the studies: I just spent six months in Montana and every single person I encountered advised that we don’t go on a trail or into the wilderness without bear spray. Not a soul recommended a gun. Even the obvious gun nuts.

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u/TheOffice_Account Sep 25 '22

How's your hearing?

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u/enchiladanada Sep 25 '22

Probably better than a corpse's

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u/evildonald Sep 25 '22

Has anyone sone any research on this I wonder? It really sounds like it might work?

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u/nonsensical_zombie Sep 25 '22

Generally unrelated but it can absolutely stop a dog fight in progress. It won’t work every time, lots of variables, but when it does both dogs stop dead in their tracks to look at WHATEVER hellish thing just made that noise.

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u/GuessesTheCar Sep 25 '22

The “always a bigger fish” alarm

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u/WillSmiff Sep 25 '22

You know what stops a dog fight? Putting a finger in their butthole. Source: you know the source.

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u/Evacipate628 Sep 25 '22

This works on humans too fyi, don't ask me how I know...

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u/gurilagarden Sep 25 '22 edited Sep 25 '22

I just got this mental image of walking through the woods one sunny Saturday afternoon, and suddenly I hear an air horn, honking over and over in the distance. I rush over to the source of the sound, and I see a huge knarly grizzly bear, it's hair glistening, saliva streaming out of it's mouth, hunched over the bloodied body of a wildlife biologist. Every time the bear bites down on the biologist's skull, the airhorn stuck between it's teeth goes off. Honk, honk. Honk.

to be clear, i'm just jokin guys. Be safe out there, you're doing good work.

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u/EpicureanOwl Sep 25 '22

Sound is a great idea. Guns are much louder than an air horn. They can kill, too.

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u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

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u/EpicureanOwl Sep 25 '22

Yes, definitely. I'd rather have both.

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u/newfakestarrysky Sep 25 '22

Gas and chemicals can typically deter attackers much better than a gun can, unless you're packing something so powerful that it'll blow off a limb, for example.

Having a burning irritant discharged into your eyes, nose, and mouth is utterly debilitating, as you cannot breathe or see. It also triggers gag reflexes, as well as choking as the victim struggles to breathe.

Meanwhile, depending on the location of the wound, a gunshot doesn't necessarily stop someone, especially if adrenaline kicks in. Gunshot victims recall that it's more like a severe burning sensation, and many of them are conscious and functioning throughout the ordeal.

If a human can endure a gunshot wound, imagine how pissed off a bear would be if you gave it a burning little love tap.

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u/mmmitch032 Sep 25 '22

Wow, that must of been...unbearable

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u/Skywalker0138 Sep 25 '22

This guy rocks... just for the video...adrenalin then shock...keep us posted, we all want to know your progression...tough fuck.

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u/Daku_Kiba Sep 25 '22

How on earth he can still manage to walked 3 miles after being attacked by a bear like that?

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u/fantollute Sep 25 '22

This guy must have some crazy endurance, or he's in for a world of pain once the shock and adrenaline wears off.

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u/Daku_Kiba Sep 25 '22

That probably is but it still blow my mind to think he walked 3 miles after those injury.

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u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

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u/HeatAndHonor Sep 25 '22

And who among us hasn't already walked for 45 minutes repeating, "Fuck fuck fuck!"? The near-mortal wounds just max out the difficulty.

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u/saskir21 Sep 25 '22

After 3 miles the adrenaline should have worn off

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u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

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u/charizardspitfire Sep 25 '22

One would think that the adrenaline would’ve worn off during that time, but let’s say he was walking for 30 minutes - that’s still enough time for the adrenaline to still have been coursing through him.

When I was 13, I snapped my leg in half after hitting into a tree while skiing. The injury was so severe that the pain didn’t even set in until hours later. It’s amazing what the body is capable of doing to protect itself.

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u/Liquid_Senjutsu Sep 25 '22

It takes roughly 20 minutes to walk a mile, so I'd say this is about an hour later. Even so, your point stands.

Given how steady he's holding that phone, I'd say his adrenaline gland is still doing burpees at high speed.

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u/7seventyseven Sep 25 '22

Can't help but wonder what would have happened if the momma bear smashed his legs up.

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u/Maiyku Sep 25 '22

He probably would’ve crawled.

I’ll never forget the episode of “I survived” where a woman had both her arms cut off, was stabbed?, either way, super injured and couldn’t walk. Left for dead by the guy who attacked her. She straight up stuck her bloody nubs in the mud to kinda seal them as best as she could, then crawled like 50 feet up an embankment to the road. On nubs. Freshly made nubs. It was insane she survived at all, let’s alone with all the things she did to get back to the road.

When the options are death or survive, you’d be surprised at what you’re capable of.

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u/abunn21 Sep 25 '22

I remember that episode. For extra dramatic effect they didn’t mention her losing her arms until she wiped her tears with her prosthetic.

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u/Mumfordor Sep 25 '22

This is the "I Survived" episode. It's fucking bonkers. https://youtu.be/CA-yk8-ALoc

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u/CosmicWolf14 Sep 25 '22

Like he said, legs eyes and internals are good. Bleeding wasn’t bad enough to cause him to pass out. A few things will drop a human in seconds, a few things will hurt like hell but not do much. His important bits are fine so he’s fine. Mostly.

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u/autoHQ Sep 25 '22 edited Sep 25 '22

Why not? His legs were good, his organs were good. It's not like he was walking out of there on 2 broken legs. In the shape he was in, it would have hurt, but doable. What else would he have done, just laid down and died?

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u/AfricanJon1 Sep 25 '22

Alaskans are next level tough.

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u/KeegorTheDestroyer Sep 25 '22

Hey now this man is a Montanan!

I helped him at the store I worked at once. He makes some badass custom knives as well

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u/The-Old-Prince Sep 25 '22

Not even alaska lol

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u/OvergrownShrubs Sep 25 '22

Is it normal for Americans that live in areas with dangerous bears in states that allow firearms on walks etc to carry a bear gun? I’d feel weird walking my small dog in an area with lots of bears and think I’d want something to defend myself. Not just a spray

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u/YeRPerOnI Sep 25 '22

Just about everyone I know carries a shotgun with slugs in bear country. Often see people walking around with shotguns on their back walking around in town or on trails. Way safer than being unarmed.

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u/Noob_DM Sep 25 '22

Depends.

It’s not abnormal though.

If you’re just in black bear territory you probably don’t need one.

If you’re in grizzly territory… I’d take one.

If you’re in polar bear territory… good luck…

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u/13-bald-turkeys Sep 25 '22

The best way to survive polar bear country is to get the fuck out of polar bear country asap.

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u/Cheefnuggs Sep 25 '22

I carry mine when I walk my little guy at night because of coyotes. We also have bears, cougars, raccoons, etc.

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u/x777x777x Sep 25 '22

Is it normal for Americans that live in areas with dangerous bears in states that allow firearms on walks etc to carry a bear gun?

Yes, very normal in grizzly country. I do it all the time. But I also carry bear spray and would prefer it.

When I visit Colorado (no grizzlies), I don't carry a firearm. Still have the spray though

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u/Hamilton-Beckett Sep 25 '22

Meanwhile, me in my recliner scrolling Reddit: “I don’t think I need to go outside again.”

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u/FreshYardPimp Sep 25 '22

Lmao fuck that pack a gun don’t be a bears lunch.

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u/Chessie-System Sep 25 '22

The spray did work in ending the initial attack. He took some damage but said the bear ran off because of the spray after a couple seconds.

His real issue is that while hiking out, he ran into the same bear and didn’t have more spray and couldn’t get his gun out. That’s when the bear did a lot of the damage.

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u/redditjoe24 Sep 25 '22

He had a pistol, it was ripped off of his body during the bear attack, according to his website

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u/KendraCobalty Sep 25 '22

He said he was packing a gun on his website

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u/thewizardbeard Sep 25 '22

That's why I always carry my .22 in bear country.

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u/Longjumping_War_807 Sep 25 '22

.22? Do you also know karate?

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u/UnlikelyCandidate78 Sep 25 '22

Lmfao!!!!!

I really hope he was joking about the .22

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u/IrocDewclaw Sep 25 '22

A .22 is just fine. In fact, you only need one round.

Step 1 put barrel to your temple.

Step 2 squeeze the boom button.

You won't be here to care about whatever happens next.

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u/Skrip77 Sep 25 '22

I laughed way to hard at this. 😂

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u/thewizardbeard Sep 25 '22

That's close haha. I carry 2 rounds. 1 to shoot whoever I'm hiking with in the foot so I can make a run for it. You only have to run faster then the slowest person. And the other round would be for me if that doesn't work out.

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u/Noob_DM Sep 25 '22

The .22

Uhh…

It’s not for the bear…

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u/sbowesuk Sep 25 '22

Don't forget the crystal healing stones they keep in their pocket. Gotta cover all bases!

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u/7seventyseven Sep 25 '22

Next to your Daisy Red Ryder BB Gun

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u/MotorMath743 Sep 25 '22

You’ll shoot your eye out

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u/Wadmania Sep 25 '22

That ought to do it, bears are pussies.

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u/[deleted] Sep 25 '22

I usually go hiking with my family (wife and 3 kids), so I don't play the caliber game very nicely. It's generally going to be my .45 cal in my holster.

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u/battmodin Sep 25 '22

You can see in his eyes, he knows he was lucky, amped for sure but lucky

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u/CodeMonkeyX Sep 25 '22

I was going to say he must be in shock, but then he said he hiked out 3 miles so this must have been a while before the video... That's crazy.

Also, the bear spray probably saved his life. Who knows what that bear would have done if he had nothing.

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u/Danger_Dee Sep 25 '22

Tougher than a brick shithouse.