r/pics Sep 24 '22 Table Slap 2 Silver 12 Gold 1 Platinum 1 Helpful 5 Wholesome 3 Take My Energy 1

To the cunts in the US and Europe. This a toilet in Australia. Get fucked 💩Shitpost💩

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52.1k Upvotes

1.2k

u/LittleJohnStone Sep 24 '22

Your ceiling must be disgusting

718

u/EhrichWeiss Sep 24 '22 Wholesome

I believe they call it a floor there.

181

u/OlBigSwole Sep 24 '22

The Australian paradox: the floors are ceilings and ceilings are floors

61

u/Id_Solomon Sep 24 '22

In addition:

The forks are spoons and the spoons are forks.

A Foster is beer and beer is a Foster.

Guppies are sharks and sharks are guppies.

58

u/pseudopsud Sep 24 '22

You know Australians don't actually drink Fosters

35

u/salamandersushi Sep 24 '22

About time the whole of Australia stormed the Fosters brewing facilities and either decommissioned it or brewed an actual beer that doesn't taste like dog piss.

14

u/RedSukhoi Sep 24 '22

But it comes in a big can, it's unique! /s

5

u/chuckaway9 Sep 24 '22

"Who needs a dog, when have a Donk"

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6

u/Derbucher Sep 24 '22

Next you will tell me they don't eat at Outback Steakhouse

5

u/fyrefocks Sep 24 '22

Fosters- Australian for piss.

18

u/Id_Solomon Sep 24 '22

"Fosters: Australian for beer"

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12

u/Danger1672 Sep 24 '22 hehehehe

A beer is a mother fucken VB long neck. Get THAT up ya. Ya cunt.

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9

u/comebackjoeyjojo Sep 24 '22

I see you have played forky-spoony before!

7

u/assholetoall Sep 24 '22

But a knife is still a knife right? Just bigger to handle the Australian sized poop.

4

u/cjcosmo Sep 24 '22

I see you’ve played knifey spoony before

3

u/Napkinsnsuch Sep 24 '22

Donuts eat people!

5

u/Synth_Ham Sep 24 '22

I see you've played knifey spoony before.

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1.5k

u/gmotelet Sep 24 '22

Missing a giant huntsman on the wall

548

u/fallenarches Sep 24 '22

Plot twist: It's under the seat.

198

u/Justanothebloke Sep 24 '22

No, that's the redback.

57

u/LXndR3100 Sep 24 '22

10

u/windol1 Sep 24 '22

Either way, after I'm done shitting they're going to wish they weren't there.

32

u/oneofthanoschildren Sep 24 '22

How dare you play this wonderful unruly track on my Spotify.

I want to stop it but I cannot because I am that Redback on the toilet.

4

u/SonOfZaknafein Sep 24 '22

This was a joy. I want more Aussie folk music.

7

u/BoltenMoron Sep 24 '22

Well waltzing Matilda which is our unofficial anthem is about a bloke who stole a sheep has a shootout with the cops and then drowned himself rather than being captured. If you want the sound try Slim Dusty.

3

u/SonOfZaknafein Sep 24 '22

Nice. I love Tom Waits's version.

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3

u/xrumrunnrx Sep 24 '22

TIL I've heard the first verse countless times but never the entire song Waltzing Matilda. Slim Dusty indeed has the sound.

2

u/Sandscarab Sep 24 '22

Listen to the Bin Chicken song.

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30

u/doggoboye14 Sep 24 '22

Plot twist: it took the photo

5

u/SelectFromWhereOrder Sep 24 '22

On basements because some are dry, spiders go to toilets for water. So you do have to get to the habit of checking for spiders in the bowl or seat

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7

u/onedestiny Sep 24 '22

Plot twist: it's in my ass already

3

u/SkyeJack Sep 24 '22

Is anything not in there?

2

u/LightSlateBlue Sep 24 '22

You mean over the seat?

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62

u/blahblahbush Sep 24 '22

15

u/I_am_HAL Sep 24 '22

The horror!

8

u/Phailsku Sep 24 '22

Thanks now I won’t be able to sleep

2

u/arscis Sep 24 '22

Ah! Oh it's only a huntsman.

2

u/unionjack736 Sep 24 '22

Bro, please! I almost had a heart attack.

34

u/BillyBalthorpe Sep 24 '22

The huntsman took the photo.

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14

u/c-papi Sep 24 '22

THE EMU IS RIGHT BEHIND YOU RU-

2

u/oldfatdrunk Sep 24 '22

As quickly as the war had ended, the peace was once more shattered.

War with the Emu will never end in peace again, not until one side can declare complete and total victory through a bloody extermination of an entire species.

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7

u/android24601 Sep 24 '22

Hmm shitting upsidedown. Must be how they get the toilets to spin the right way 😏 /s

4

u/zitsky Sep 24 '22

This is fake. The water would fall to the floor.

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6

u/StefanL88 Sep 24 '22

The bigger issue is that because of the lid you can't tell if it has the half flush/full flush buttons to verify it is indeed Australian. In most of the world you can't walk away after flushing and say "I'll save some of that for later".

4

u/Artynorwegian Sep 24 '22

All public toilets I have ever seen in Norway have those buttons, so they also affect the top of the world, lol

3

u/Vertimyst Sep 24 '22

We have those buttons in Canada, they're not just an Australian thing.

2

u/klparrot Sep 24 '22

Not just Australian. NZ certainly wasn't the first country I'd encountered it.

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3

u/Counciltuckian Sep 24 '22

Mf’r, came here for this joke

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463

u/tmtyl_101 Sep 24 '22

Which way does the water swirl when you flush?

214

u/awfulmouthbreather Sep 24 '22

Nine hundred dollarydoos ??????

37

u/USPS_Nerd Sep 24 '22

Oy, Tobias!!!

30

u/Tobar_the_Gypsy Sep 24 '22

OI MISTAH PRIME MINISTAH

ANDYYYYYYY

8

u/CaptainApathy419 Sep 24 '22

Alright lads, what’s the good word?

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10

u/Goraji Sep 24 '22

Tobias!

4

u/StudiousStoner Sep 24 '22

Disparaging the boot is a bootable offense, it’s one of their proudest traditions!

2

u/suestrong315 Sep 24 '22

Unrelated, but I play a dumb game on my phone called Township and they have like township dollars that you can earn and/or buy with real money and I refer to them as my dollarydoos bc dollars sounds like I'm using real money.

So my husband will just hear from the other room "I'm not wasting 16 dollarydoos on that!"

I quite enjoy it

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79

u/Shortfall89 Sep 24 '22

Downwards

40

u/tmtyl_101 Sep 24 '22

You mean upwards?

43

u/Shortfall89 Sep 24 '22

Am Australian, So to me this is downwards.

16

u/tmtyl_101 Sep 24 '22

Wait, what? Your up is my down? Whoooooaaa....

6

u/SelectFromWhereOrder Sep 24 '22

…Never a miscommunication.

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9

u/flukus Sep 24 '22

Always twirling toward freedom!

5

u/Admetus Sep 24 '22

Inwards

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32

u/floppy_eardrum Sep 24 '22

Real talk: the toilets do not whirlpool in Australia. The water comes from all directions under the rim and runs straight down. So that whole Simpsons gag, as funny as it is, never really hit the mark.

43

u/elfy4eva Sep 24 '22

Pff the OP doesn't even have the motorized device to make the water flush the proper American way.

6

u/colin_powers Sep 24 '22

🎶 Sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. 🎶 😭

6

u/tmtyl_101 Sep 24 '22

I know. Its an urban legend. Funny still, though

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17

u/residentdunce Sep 24 '22

Get fucked! It's one of the greatest Simpsons gags OAT

22

u/shockingdevelopment Sep 24 '22

Australia: Celebrating over 25 years of electricity.

7

u/mwilbanks Sep 24 '22

Is this true? No swirl at all?

20

u/kitherarin Sep 24 '22

Our standing water is lower too. First American toilet I saw I thought was blocked because of how high the water sat.

8

u/getawombatupya Sep 24 '22

Stuff like the meme of always needing a plunger... there would be a good part of Australia that doesn't own that device.

3

u/kitherarin Sep 24 '22

I mean we have them…stuff still blocks. It’s just Rabat you know it’s blocked when the water doesn’t disappear and just gets higher

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3

u/big_duo3674 Sep 24 '22

That splashback though...

3

u/BoltenMoron Sep 24 '22

Poseidons kiss

2

u/kitherarin Sep 24 '22

Of the American toilets? Definitely found that disconcerting…

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5

u/Meattyloaf Sep 24 '22

Quite a few, but not all American Public toilets have way more water than American home toilets. Our toilets only use 1.6 gallons (roughly 5 liters) per flush, shoch is on par with Europe since 2013 or something. Its important to point out that the U.S. has been using low flush toilets since the 80s, while EU just passed similiar regulation a decade ago. However, Australia does beat us with 3.3 liters used on average per flush.

1

u/phpdevster Sep 24 '22

Do Australians just take smaller shits or something? The stink from shitbergs would be unbearable with only 3.3 liters.

5

u/GershBinglander Sep 24 '22

The shape of the bowl means it works well.

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5

u/khjuu12 Sep 24 '22

Yeah. The Coriolis effect is real, but trivial in terms of impact on what the water does compared to how you actually build the toilet.

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2

u/BoltenMoron Sep 24 '22

I will have you know that disparaging the joke is a bootable offence under the Crimes Act 1900 (Cth)

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196

u/Noack_B Sep 24 '22

It's hard to wipe when the shit keeps falling back onto your ass but you get used to it.

41

u/Obi_Wahn_Inside Sep 24 '22

Since it's australia and everything is upside down (except gravity apparently), the toilet shits into you...

21

u/pr0zach Sep 24 '22

That sounds more like a Soviet Russia thing TBH. Maybe use a fact checker…

15

u/Feisty_Fox_7557 Sep 24 '22

In Soviet Russia, toilet piss on you.

3

u/THBLD Sep 24 '22

Nah just borrowed some japanese tech where it's sucked right up. We may be upside-down but we're modern AF mate.

2

u/Jet_Funk Sep 24 '22

Ugh, don't you hate it when it falls in your shirt ?

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41

u/TheNcredible Sep 24 '22

You stay classy, Perth.

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126

u/Top-Entrepreneur-651 Sep 24 '22

For those wondering, this is the reason we aussie are so fit, we have monkey bars on the ground outside our houses, leading to all facilities. this makes it way easier for us to go outside without the fear of falling into space, its much easier to do shopping now, still sucks to live upside down.

21

u/fletchertel Sep 24 '22

My pop was actually one of the guys in charge of installing those monkey bars! This might be an unpopular opinion but I am glad the safety standards where not as right back then as they are now, otherwise it would be near impossible to pull of a project like that.

9

u/DJSwivel2 Sep 24 '22

Couple of the ones near us finally gave out - nearly lost another one to space. Managed to grab a branch - so pretty lucky there.

Apparently the BNB are installing the mesh walkways down here sometime soon - so councils not bothered bout’ replacing it :/

157

u/Sicparvismagneto Sep 24 '22

Kanga my roo how do you poo?

115

u/Flaky_Explanation Sep 24 '22

ǝʇɐɯ ʇǝɹɔǝs ɐ s,ʇI

17

u/Cpeasus Sep 24 '22

Nice ass m8

5

u/Id_Solomon Sep 24 '22

MY BRAIN!!!

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55

u/cinamonroll1806 Sep 24 '22

im asian

94

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '22

Hi Asian, I’m dad!

24

u/Kastranrob Sep 24 '22

Are ya winnin, dad

2

u/tootsie_rolex Sep 24 '22

Hi dad I am asian

25

u/Teeedor Sep 24 '22

This meme just keeps on giving.

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25

u/captain_nibble_bits Sep 24 '22

So what's the trick? Shit really really hard so it sticks?

9

u/Then-Ad5249 Sep 24 '22

Spray water (and blood if you're so inclined) so fast that you can flush before it comes back

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22

u/Crazyripps Sep 24 '22

As an Aussie I’m confused as to why there’s a normal toilet on my screen

6

u/Notic94 Sep 24 '22

How does the water stay inside? Austria is so weird.

5

u/chuckaway9 Sep 24 '22

Austria.....let's throw another shrimp on the barbie

2

u/thesaharadesert Sep 24 '22

“WE LANDED ON THE MOON!”

4

u/Jimisdegimis89 Sep 24 '22

Least your doors go all the way to the floor and walls

39

u/pseudonym82 Sep 24 '22

I'm Australian and I approve the title of this post

2

u/splerdu Sep 24 '22

Did you give it an Australian upvote?

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4

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '22

Looks like a messy ordeal

3

u/Dawgsquad00 Sep 24 '22

Oye, you don’t even have any bog roll. This picture is fake

4

u/Sumgamma Sep 24 '22

Language like that…..Written by a bogan

3

u/erdtirdmans Sep 24 '22

Damn you got full ceiling to floor doors?

4

u/andyr072 Sep 24 '22

🎵Oh what a feeling, when your shittin on the ceiling.🎵

3

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '22

Missing a kangaroo 🦘. Fake.

3

u/easycure Sep 24 '22

Upside-dunny, classic Australia

3

u/mollystrong Sep 24 '22

Are all toilets in Australia on the ceiling? Uggg! Cursed gravity!!

17

u/emmeram Sep 24 '22

ha ha, very funny. we all know the water would just fall out of the toilet, this is clearly fake. only difference about australian toilets is that theres poo and pee in them already when you sit down and it enters your body rather than the toilet being empty and you filling it with feces. That's actually where the idiom "taking a shit" comes from, Australian prisoner colonies were the first place where this phenomenon was noticed. Educate yourselves people!

2

u/AutoSlashS Sep 24 '22

Finally a scholar and person of culture.

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9

u/heapsion Sep 24 '22

NZer here, we live just across the water from Australia. Can confirm

2

u/Possible_EmuWrangler Sep 24 '22

But so you have problems with Dropbears over there?

5

u/porterbrown Sep 24 '22

If upsidedown, which way would the water spin down the drain?

10

u/klparrot Sep 24 '22

It goes straight down. The swirl is a North American oddity.

2

u/st_j Sep 24 '22

How do we know it drains counter-clockwise? Watch out lads, we could be being had here.

2

u/Plus-Alternative-807 Sep 24 '22

Same goes in Australia…

2

u/Sliding_Tiles Sep 24 '22

Cool huntsman under the rim bro

2

u/WaySheGoesBub Sep 24 '22

Good on you mate barbecue and thats not a knife to you!

2

u/nikiu Sep 24 '22

So, if I give you the downvote from up here, it’s an upvote down there, right?

2

u/Ivaras Sep 24 '22

Where are the icicles?

  • Canada

P.s. Carpet? Gross.

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2

u/iseeyou_Pi Sep 24 '22

I knew it! I knew it!

2

u/yeh_nah_fuckit Sep 24 '22

Why are you using such formal language?

2

u/hustlin1284 Sep 24 '22

Like oh my gawd, like how does the water stay like in the toilet? Shouldn't it like fall out or something? Lol lol

2

u/Effective-Ad-8445 Sep 24 '22

Why the hell do you got carpet in the bathroom

2

u/Diggity_Dave Sep 24 '22

To upvote this appropriately I select the down arrow, right?

2

u/Cawsome Sep 24 '22

Finally, a good shit-post.

2

u/romulof Sep 24 '22

Where’s the snake or spider?

2

u/randymeanserotica Sep 24 '22

Anyone can piss on the floor, be a hero and shit on the ceiling.

2

u/Jayronheart Sep 24 '22

Not very nice language in the title, but mkay, a pretty funny post.

2

u/Brut-i-cus Sep 24 '22

This would really be handy when it comes to peeing with morning wood

2

u/dublinjane Sep 24 '22

Language. Really??

2

u/chaoism Sep 24 '22

Lies. I don't see any snake or giant spider

2

u/Vynaca Sep 25 '22

You’re missing the enormous spider lurking just under the seat.

2

u/Madyline Sep 25 '22

So do i upvote or downvote this?

2

u/Gwaevora Sep 27 '22

Australia, never change. The world needs you.

2

u/abtei Sep 24 '22

doesn't the shit an piss get everyhwere?

4

u/Blade_Shot24 Sep 24 '22

As expected from the Downunda

3

u/Twigbob Sep 24 '22

Carpet/rug in the toilet? Groooossss

10

u/MisterSquidInc Sep 24 '22

You're not supposed to piss on the floor, fyi

5

u/not_just_amwac Sep 24 '22

Just a mat. That way you just chuck the mat in the wash instead of having to wash the floor if someone drips.

3

u/KritKommander Sep 24 '22

Americunt here, I am doing my part to normalize using cunt as a verb, noun, adverb, and all the other shit I don't remember from middle school.

3

u/BurnOutBrighter6 Sep 24 '22

12

u/ChuqTas Sep 24 '22

Nah that one is obviously not Australian, why would it have Fosters?

5

u/makka-pakka Sep 24 '22

It's the Fosters factory

2

u/ozymandias457 Sep 24 '22

The Fosters really ties it together lol

1

u/jakedesnake Sep 24 '22

Is there some context to these jokes?

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2

u/Jean_Is_Phoenix Sep 24 '22

Another looted Ukrainian toilet installed by Russian family, unfamiliar with operation of technological wonder.

2

u/Fingermoustache Sep 25 '22

What a cheeky cunt OP is

3

u/ill_infatuation Sep 25 '22

Take that back bitch

1

u/WonderWirm Sep 24 '22

Baaahaha!

Legendary cunt!

1

u/shockingdevelopment Sep 24 '22

This is funny because it references Australia being in the southern hemisphere, so assuming the north is the main part of the world, means in a sense the Aussies live upside down.

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1

u/down_the_goatse_hole Sep 24 '22

Op’s a useless cunt should’ve used this.

https://i.imgur.com/sk5C7YK.jpg

1

u/GreywackeOmarolluk Sep 24 '22

Of course it is. The water is swirling in the opposite direction.

1

u/Edible_Buttplug Sep 24 '22

Paul Hogan was only an ‘ok’ actor.

1

u/Lindo_MG Sep 24 '22

Why so angry, go get some milk of magnesium or something

2

u/BlueRipley Sep 24 '22

Milk of magnesia is banned in Australia.

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u/puan0601 Sep 24 '22

But which way does the water swirl when you flush?!?!

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u/Snoo_89395 Sep 24 '22

I come from the land down under

2

u/chuckaway9 Sep 24 '22

Oh, I LOVE AC/DC..... lol /s

1

u/Hawanja Sep 24 '22

TIL Australia is so shitty that feces there defies gravity

0

u/Aunax Sep 24 '22

Where are the hidden straps to hold you up there?! Clearly fake!

12

u/goosebumples Sep 24 '22

Because as well as being a made up place, we also defy gravity in Australia

2

u/KwisatzHaderach94 Sep 24 '22

of course. gravity is the same on the top side of the earth disc as on the bottom side of the earth disc.

-2

u/DollyDinkle Sep 24 '22

I will never not giggle at the "c" word. It is really rude to say it where I live! (US heartland)

5

u/loralailoralai Sep 24 '22

It’s pretty rude in most instances in australia too, regardless of what reddit wants you to think

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