r/therewasanattempt Sep 24 '22 Wholesome 10 All-Seeing Upvote 1 Silver 7 Helpful 3

to have a relaxing boat ride

99.5k Upvotes

2.1k

u/CheshireMoe Sep 24 '22 Silver Helpful Take My Energy

It was up hill both ways.

575

u/jld2k6 Sep 24 '22

This is how my grandpa had to get to school each day

12

u/CervixTaster Sep 25 '22

In the snow, with one shoe.

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u/JennaTellYah Sep 24 '22

Dang. Shout out to our home boy here for this epic work out he’s creating. He is intent on making this boat trip work

4.5k

u/bell37 Sep 24 '22

He should have put some weight in the bow. Hell could have been a cooler filled with ice to act as a counterweight, and could have played it off as him wanting to have “refreshments on the water”.

3.8k

u/Bogrolling Sep 24 '22 Gold

Or a stack of 45lbs plates

1.4k

u/ProdigusIVV Sep 24 '22 Silver Helpful

“LOAD IT UP BOYS!”

497

u/LJNodder Sep 24 '22

LIGHT WEIGHT BABY WOOOO

185

u/ngunray Sep 24 '22

YOU BETTER PRAY TO THE GOD OF SKINNY PUNKS THAT THIS WIND DOESN’T PICK UP!!!

75

u/MonacoMaster68 Sep 25 '22

I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE AND IV’E SEEN WHERE YOU SLEEP! I SWEAR TO EVERYTHING HOLY THAT YOUR MOTHERS WILL CRY WHEN THEY SEE WHAT I’VE DONE TO YOU!!

Sorry, that scene gets me every time!

14

u/Shango876 Sep 25 '22

Sauce? Sauce? Sauce please??🥺

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u/ttwixx Sep 24 '22

NOTHIN BUT A PEANUT

61

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '22

[deleted]

26

u/palindromic Sep 24 '22

YUP YEAHHHH BUDDDDY LIGHT WEIGHT PEANUT WOOOOO

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u/[deleted] Sep 24 '22

HOOOOOO

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19

u/UnrequitedRespect Sep 24 '22

Heh yep yep yep

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u/fltpath Sep 24 '22

"Paid by the hour, older by the minute..."

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u/I_KILL_GIANTS87 Sep 24 '22

Hear me out. If for no other reason than weight distribution, she should be rowing...but I feel like this is a solution with multiple benefits.

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u/RemarkableCollar8965 Sep 24 '22

Or a whole orchestra back there - you know....to give it that romantic touch

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u/bonzaisushi Sep 24 '22

A “stack” lmao I’m dyin

36

u/ehaugw Sep 24 '22

Its gonna take a few :/

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193

u/Guybrush_Creepwood_ Sep 24 '22

i think he tried his best tbh

62

u/idkybutt Sep 24 '22

Still trying...

102

u/AnBearna Sep 24 '22

Some say he’s still rowing to this very day….

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u/ooojaeger Sep 24 '22

They would have just slid into his back

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u/Ginflet Sep 24 '22

150lbs of refreshments? 😂

11

u/polopolo05 Sep 24 '22

Have you seen how thristy our boy is getting out there?

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u/throwitawaynowNI Sep 24 '22

You'd need ideally the same amount of weight on the other side (or you'd need to put the weight much further out which wouldn't be an option here). That's a lot of stress on and weight in the boat. A little cooler filled with ice wouldn't do much.

36

u/InstanceSuch8604 Sep 24 '22 All-Seeing Upvote

Were gonna need a bigger boat

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u/aBlissfulDaze Sep 24 '22

You'd be surprised how heavy coolers can get. You don't need to fully balance the boat. A few inches here would make a hell of a difference.

172

u/staliniumt34 Sep 24 '22

A few inches really does make a difference 😏

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u/IamMrBots Sep 24 '22

If you figure that a cooler of ice weighs approximately 22 pounds and estimate that his date is roughly 250-300 pounds, then he would need 11-14 coolers of ice.

72

u/Mike2220 Sep 24 '22

Well the weight doesn't need to be perfectly countered, like if someone were in the 180 pound range there would probably be less issue

Also, the pivot seems to be a bit further towards the back so you'd have a bit of mechanical advantage and need less weight

I wanna say 3 or 4 coolers could probably be just enough

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u/_Charlie_Sheen_ Sep 24 '22

Americans be like: nah I don’t need to lose weight, just gotta prepare for a boat ride like a normal person.

-Paddles check

-Life jacket check

-Sunscreen check

-fucking 45 pound bow counter weight check

63

u/spacelyspocet79 Sep 24 '22

45 pounds not going to counter that weight i think double or triple that

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u/ralphvonwauwau Sep 24 '22

-fucking 45 pound bow counter weights check

FTFY

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u/Kamau54 Sep 24 '22

And getting an upper body workout for the rest of the year.

85

u/New-Level99 Sep 24 '22

My arms are burning for him!

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752

u/Tom1252 Sep 24 '22 Silver Helpful

I got so much respect for this dude. He knows everyone's laughing, especially with some rando shamelessly filming him from the shore, but he wants to make his girl happy, so he tanks on through it.

He's a winner.

193

u/GurIllustrious4983 Sep 24 '22 edited Sep 25 '22

And that could have been his sister too. People are automatically assuming it was a romantic thing but what if it wasn’t?

70

u/TheKillOrder Sep 24 '22

No information provided so all we can do is assume, which is all we do in life. Perspective takes its toll too when we have comments or posts being seen from the wrong perspective. Maybe this was his mum maybe his sis or his date/wife/gf but all we can do is assume :/

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u/Gamer_Mommy Sep 24 '22

Marriage material right there. Considering he's not into feeding kink and she is not being abused by him executing his kinks on her.

59

u/the_amberdrake Sep 24 '22

It's not abuse if they both down ;)

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u/febreze_air_freshner Sep 24 '22

lol what the fuck is reddits logic man, the first thing you think of is that he's forcing her to be fat...not that she's far because of her own actions?

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1.6k

u/APersonWithInterests Sep 24 '22 Silver Gold Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote Take My Energy Ally Wholesome Seal of Approval Bravo Grande!

Yeah fuck the peanut gallery, bro is out here making her feel special. I hope they had a good time together.

489

u/bumbletowne Sep 24 '22 Silver

This gif is older than reddit. Back on digg I remember someone saying this was a brother trying to do something nice for his special needs sister. I bet they did have a nice time.

139

u/Financial-Mood5816 Sep 24 '22

Yeah, I immediately thought this was the case. I would do the same thing for my son. I do stuff just to make him happy, doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks

37

u/Evryfrflyfrfree Sep 25 '22

Like dude is doing something nice for his mentally challenged sister and Reddit is out here “lol she’s fat”. Kinda gross ngl.

Would we all be laughing if some muscle girl was carrying her disabled bf “lol my man skipped leg day” like the fuck reddit.

29

u/Rae_Regenbogen Sep 25 '22 edited Sep 26 '22

Even if she doesn’t have an intellectual disability, why can’t people just let the woman go outside and have fun without being assholes?

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u/Only_the_Tip Sep 24 '22

No life preservers. I really hope that thing stayed afloat. It would be a difficult water rescue.

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u/HarlequinSyndrom Sep 24 '22

You, sir, are absolutely wholesome!

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u/OozeNAahz Sep 24 '22

I think he definitely got her wet down there. I mean the edge of the boat had to dip below the water line at some point.

64

u/Mike2220 Sep 24 '22

If that dipped down at any point it wouldntve come back up

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u/Wookief1st Sep 24 '22

shout out to who ever made those oars ^_^

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3.2k

u/Tekbepimpin Sep 24 '22 Wholesome Take My Energy Take My Power

Michal Scott: Is she a dress wearer or a pants wearer? Could we share a rowboat? Could- could a rowboat support her?

Phyllis: What are you asking?

Michael Scott: I think I'm being very clear, what I'm asking. Would an average size rowboat support her without capsizing? [long pause] It bothers me that you're not answering the question.

1.2k

u/xPOTATOOx Sep 24 '22

Phyllis: No, alright? No, she can't fit in a rowboat.

251

u/imaginationn Sep 24 '22

Damn it Phyllis I knew it!

331

u/Dalvenjha Sep 24 '22

Well, I’m setting Michael with my fat friend, anyways, he can deal with it!

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u/JERUSALEMFIGHTER63 Sep 24 '22

Son of a mean bean that's funny

6

u/sicgamer Sep 25 '22

from an episode of the office. the way he asks her these questions had me DYING. that episode is gold.

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u/ikelosintransitive Sep 24 '22

was looking for this. i cant believe it’s real.

26

u/Tekbepimpin Sep 24 '22

It’s real. And it’s spectacular 😏

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u/rigobueno Sep 24 '22

The best part of that scene is when Dwight gives a facial expression that says “great question”

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u/bykatvchdcom Sep 24 '22

Michael Scott was ahead of time, glorious.

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10

u/The-Money-Beats Sep 24 '22

I can’t decide between a dumb joke or a fat joke. Boom. Roasted.

7

u/thechuckster9 Sep 24 '22

I knew it was gonna be here r/unexpectedoffice

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u/Trick_Donkey_4993 Sep 24 '22

At least sit in the middle good grief

1.7k

u/sncBrax Sep 24 '22

wonder if she had the foresight to offer to row and my guy wasn't having it

1.0k

u/A-le-Couvre Sep 24 '22

“No… Honey… Can I…”

Meanwhile BF sits confidently in the middle

“What are you waiting for sweetie? Get in!”

459

u/sncBrax Sep 24 '22

chivalry ain't dead

545

u/Dankie_Spankie Sep 24 '22 Gold

It’s gonna be when they sink and drown

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u/scotchmanseggs Sep 24 '22

This man alone is keeping chivalry alive

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u/Llancymru Sep 24 '22

I learnt on a sailing course that the further forward you sit the slower the boat will go. I’m not sure if she’s trying to achieve peak acceleration, but if she is I don’t think it’s working

32

u/The_Queef_of_England Sep 24 '22

Yeah, on my paddle board, the further back you stand, the faster you can go and the easier you can steer. I don't know if boats are the same, but no reason they'd be much different that i can think of.

30

u/Llancymru Sep 24 '22

Yep they will be, they never shut up about it and kept shouting at us to sit further back despite the fact as I’m a big guy in a boat slightly too small the back of the dinghy was full of water. The correct term is trim and is a major part of sailing in general

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u/palpablescalpel Sep 24 '22

This looks like it's something they're doing as a joke. She looks like she'd probably get her butt a little wet where she is so I imagine she's putting up with it for a laugh.

73

u/Adorable_Raccoon Sep 24 '22

I am wondering if they added weight to her side of the boat. I have literally never seen a both this unbalanced in real life & i live near the lake. Granted i’ve never seen anyone in a little boat like this. It’s usually kayaks or sailing ships.

43

u/DaughterEarth Sep 24 '22

yah my Dad is bigger than that lady and sits in boats just fine

19

u/re10pect Sep 24 '22

That’s what I was thinking. She’s a big girl, but that’s either the worlds most unstable vessel or they are taking the piss.

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u/TheMilkmanCome Sep 24 '22

Yeah the way she’s hiked up on the side of the boat as opposed to sitting in it, definitely a joke

61

u/farteagle Sep 24 '22

These people have fun. Right on

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u/Western_Protection Sep 24 '22

Dudes going to be jacked at the end of this ride.

168

u/ComeOnTars2424 Sep 24 '22

Right let’s give it up for Atlas here, moving Heaven and Earth to make this woman’s day!

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3.0k

u/BreadChiId Sep 24 '22

“No, alright? No! She can’t fit in a row boat”

921

u/VaultDweller837 Sep 24 '22

Damn it Phyllis I knew it!

324

u/4Ever2Thee Sep 24 '22

106

u/Sea_Impression3810 Sep 24 '22

Yup, I only came here to look for Michael Scott quotes

8

u/pepperblast3000 Sep 24 '22

Ditto. I’m look ooh ooh who said?!

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u/PaulClarkLoadletter Sep 24 '22

“Well, I'm setting Michael up with my fat friend anyway. He can just deal with it”

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u/StinkyTeacher Sep 24 '22

You’ll love her, she’s feisty

222

u/ashybutclassy Sep 24 '22

She’s not jolly or sassy?

149

u/Competitive_Garage59 Sep 24 '22

Is she a dress wearer or a pants wearer?

75

u/SavvikTheSavage Sep 24 '22

Catcher or infield?

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u/BossScribblor Sep 24 '22

What are you asking me?

I think you know what I'm asking.

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u/ReasonableCurrency44 Sep 24 '22

Would an average sized rowboat support her?

8

u/VagueBC Sep 24 '22

Without capsizing

21

u/law_mom Sep 24 '22

Came here just for this reference! Thank you for not letting me down!

27

u/tastyLamp73 Sep 24 '22

Good reference

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u/NatsuDragneel-538 Sep 24 '22

He's a man of focus, commitment and sheer goddamn fucking will.

2.4k

u/dido1992 Sep 24 '22

The strength that man have…

1.2k

u/Cpt-FishSticks Sep 24 '22

That's the strength of love... And a bbw fetish

232

u/asianabsinthe Sep 24 '22

🎵...that's the power of love

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u/[deleted] Sep 24 '22

TFW you workout everyday so you can lift your future bbw GF. squad goals

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u/ostroia Sep 24 '22

big barbeque women?

17

u/slashth456 Sep 24 '22

Big Bodies of Water

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26

u/Cpt-FishSticks Sep 24 '22 Silver

Is that big women and barbecue or big barbecues and women? Yes to both

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u/TheWhollyGhost Sep 24 '22

Big Boned Warriors

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u/CortezDeLaNoche Sep 24 '22

Love is the greatest strength of all...sprinkled with a little denial.

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2.5k

u/The_Lucky_WoIf Sep 24 '22 hehehehe

This is that film with Jack Black right?

693

u/Beneficial-Share-970 Sep 24 '22

I was hoping to see something related to shallow Hal

103

u/T4N60SUKK4 Sep 24 '22

Shallow Hal finds a gal

46

u/RIPLORN Sep 24 '22 edited Sep 24 '22

Rosemary! "I haven't bounced me daughter on me knee since she was two."

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u/pixelprophet Sep 24 '22

Michael on a date that Phyllis set up.

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u/Spider1132 Sep 24 '22

First thing that crossed my mind. Although, to be fair, I just finished watching a show starring Gwyneth Paltrow.

91

u/Wonkasgoldenticket Sep 24 '22

Wrong movie, Tommy Boy with Chris Farley.

49

u/tobesteve Sep 24 '22

Fat guy in a little coat!

53

u/IvoryFlyaway Sep 24 '22

Listen here you little spazoids, I know where you live and I see where you sleep. I swear your mothers will cry when they see what I've done to you!

28

u/BWChristopher86 Sep 24 '22

Quit playing with your dingy!

8

u/RUKiddingMeReddit Sep 24 '22

You better pray to the god of skinny punks that this wind doesn't pick up...

8

u/afs5982 Sep 24 '22

TOMMY! QUIT PLAYING WITH YOUR DINGHY!!

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10

u/AnExpertInThisField Sep 24 '22

"Could use a little wind here!"

29

u/Bubbles011001010010 Sep 24 '22

“HEY GILLIGAN DID YOU EAT THE SKIPPER?!”

6

u/Wonkasgoldenticket Sep 24 '22

That line always made me laugh my ass off, I’m sure half of Reddit can’t even relate to that as they don’t know who Gillian is

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u/saike1 Sep 24 '22

your sail is limp, like your dick

5

u/SafewordisJohnCandy Sep 24 '22

Listen you little spazoids! I know where you live and I've seen where you sleep. I swear that your mothers will cry when they see what I've done to you!

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u/koketso2 Sep 24 '22 Wholesome Table Slap Spit-take

Does this boat make me look fat

1.3k

u/Rex_Beever Sep 24 '22

No honey, i think the gravity is just extra strong here

936

u/poopellar Sep 24 '22 Silver Helpful Table Slap

"Thank fuck for this boat's buoyancy"

"What?"

"I said you look like Beyoncé!"

123

u/Capocho9 Sep 24 '22

Lol, funniest thing I’ve read all day, thanks for the laugh

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u/eicaker Sep 24 '22 Ally

That seems humiliating

233

u/PretendiWasADefMute Sep 24 '22 edited Sep 28 '22 Ally

I know. This totally sucks that people recorded this.

Edit: I replaced kinda with totally

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u/Ignorhymus Sep 24 '22

I'm gonna say that it's the boat's fault - it's way too small. I've rented a few rowboats with the wife, and they're always bigger than this. They'd accommodate this couple just fine.

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u/rontc Sep 24 '22

The problem is he's not rowing fast enough to get the boat to plane.

48

u/PlasticPandaWarrior Sep 24 '22

Yeah, she should date a Yamaha XTO or something

1.3k

u/AkaSpaceCowboy Sep 24 '22 Heartwarming

As funny as it looks She probably feels like shit. Hopefully they still had a good time and things got better.

753

u/APersonWithInterests Sep 24 '22 Heartwarming

Yeah I hope she wasn't thinking on it too hard. I also hope she never realizes that someone recorded and posted it online to shame her assuming this isn't staged for laughs.

313

u/borkamork Sep 24 '22

I won't shame her for her weight. I will shame them for not understanding physics.

124

u/APersonWithInterests Sep 24 '22

I think they're both very likely aware of the situation they are in and clearly are okay with continuing.

78

u/Lamplorde Sep 24 '22

Yeah, you'd be pretty aware of the situation within 15 seconds of getting on the boat.

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u/black_elk_streaks Sep 24 '22 Helpful Wholesome Take My Energy

Yeah, I just kinda find this whole cultural phenomenon of recording people to be ridiculed online pretty sad. It’s normalizing bullying and it shouldn’t be acceptable.

39

u/Aggressive_Chain_920 Sep 24 '22

Her weight isnt even the main problem, the main problem is that shes sitting at the outer edge of the boat. A tall fit guy would have the same effect

52

u/GurIllustrious4983 Sep 24 '22 edited Sep 24 '22 Heartwarming

Someone mentioned she is his special needs sister.

So the whole pile on is unnecessary and people should have never even began with the whole physics talk. Clearly, people are mocking them. Even if she was not special needs, ….why mock them?

It’s not like you’ve never done anything, if others captured, would make you a laughing stock. We’ve all done something stupid.

This seemed like a wholesome moment ruined by people on the net trying to be smart.

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u/CatsAndCampin Sep 24 '22

Yeah, I say some mean shit to people online when they say something stupid but like half of reddit complains about bullying, talks about how they were bullied in school & how devastating it was but then there's ALWAYS a ton of people bitching about/ripping on fat people, especially fat women. And yes, I know reddit isn't a monolith but I'd bet some of the the same people complaining about bullying, are making fun of overweight people on here.

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u/froginablenderr Sep 24 '22

Yeah I have to agree, this is very mean spirited.

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u/Hexagonalprison Sep 24 '22 Helpful

I remember finding a facebook thread of people making fun of me in middle school and it made me think about killing myself. As an adult I always think about this when millions are commenting about others over a recorded moment of embarrassment. No one knows how dark a place this will put you until it happens to them. We all feel so safe ridiculing others behind our anonymous usernames.

Honestly even when it seems like someone deserves ridicule for like an angry public outburst, I still feel bad for them. The widespread trolling/ostracizing is almost never proportionate to the crime.

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u/GurIllustrious4983 Sep 24 '22

I agree… It’s so disappointing and vile especially when the people are not doing anything to hurt another.

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u/Chetmatterson Sep 24 '22

100% agree. I can’t wait for the generation of kids that inevitably will make not recording shit cool again

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u/Sheeneebock111 Sep 24 '22 Heartwarming

I wouldn’t even take a picture of this, it’s so sad I’m not even sure if laugh at this in person to myself. And if my son had said something or tried laughing I would’ve told him that’s very rude to do. And there’s a lot I laugh at, my humor is very very dark and not pc but this is just really sad

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u/[deleted] Sep 24 '22

She really shouldn’t sit all the way at the edge. If she sat more in the middle it would be fine.

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u/thebestspeler Sep 24 '22

I thought she was specially abled, like his sister or something. With the arms down and posture. Whatever it was, it was sweet.

19

u/DesktopWebsite Sep 24 '22

Well, if your on a boat thats about to overturn, you lean towards the center and keep your arms still. Probably the most comfortable position without adding to a turnover

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u/hopeful_deer Sep 24 '22

Yeah. I was just thinking maybe they got the wrong type of boat or they need counterweights. It definitely seems like a solvable problem.

It bugs me all the comments talking about how she doesn’t fit. People aren’t made to fit in boats. Tools (like boats) are made to fit people. If this boat is not a sufficient tool for the people using it, then it must be modified or a substitute must be found.

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u/Old-Obligation6861 Sep 24 '22 Heartwarming

Much respect to homie showing her a good time. She was probably really nervous, or even self conscious but hes making it work. Sister, girlfriend, lab partner... Whatever the relationship, he's making it work. Good on him.

86

u/badnewsbets Sep 24 '22 Heartwarming

So nice to see a pleasant comment not ripping her to shreds ✌️

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u/Grouchy-Estimate-756 Sep 24 '22

Sometimes physics is an asshole.

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u/lakerfan91 Sep 24 '22

“Can she fit in a rowboat?”

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u/anonymousone89 Sep 24 '22

Damnit!! I knew it. I knew it, Phyllis!!

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u/asebastianstanstan Sep 24 '22

Could a rowboat support her? It bothers me that you’re not answering the question.

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u/80hdis4me Sep 24 '22

So funny. “No, all right? No, she can't fit in a rowboat.”

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u/Nekayne Sep 24 '22

Sit her in the middle and him at the end. What is this, amateur hour?

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u/Llancymru Sep 24 '22

Apparently that would make the boat go quite a lot slower due to the drag. She’s just at peak trim is all

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u/OilRude Sep 24 '22

I honestly feel bad for her she looks really uncomfortable

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u/pincasso Sep 24 '22

That guys got some serious core strength

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u/SithPharmTech Sep 24 '22

Man whoever took this video did her wrong.

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u/Spider-Shark Sep 24 '22

Nah man, he’s just workin out.

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u/AndroidCovenant Sep 24 '22

Very strong boyfriend. He makes sure his sister is comfortable and doesn't have to row.

118

u/YouAndWhatArmy636 Sep 24 '22

Bro this comment section is wild

25

u/woahdude12321 Sep 24 '22

Whole army of people trying to figure out of a 15 second video posted for lulz who these people are, if they are related, if we feel bad for them, if a cooler or stack of weights would have balanced the boat, analyzing her posture for answers to the questions

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u/Pysslis Sep 24 '22

Unexpected Alabama

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u/Chrisscott25 Sep 24 '22

My man should’ve went motor boating…..

17

u/Drockosaurus Sep 24 '22

Oh he will be later.

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u/slipmagt Sep 24 '22

Pretty good demonstration of torque.

7

u/Sea_Television_3306 Sep 24 '22

My man's fighting for his fucking life

18

u/This_is_my_phone_tho Sep 24 '22

Wouldn't it be kinda doing that even if she wasn't as heavy? all the weight is in the back or middle, going forward puts more weight on the back. that boat looks tiny.

11

u/Yeranz Sep 24 '22

It is tiny, it's a Walker Bay dinghy, typically used as a tender for a larger boat but it's also nice as a first sail boat because it's thermoplastic and light. I own one, you can't really fit two adults in it unless one of them is small.

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u/VooDooChile1983 Sep 24 '22

What’s on her head?

24

u/UnprofessionalGhosts Sep 24 '22

A messy bun held up by a scrunchie.

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u/Troll_For_Truth Sep 24 '22

Give that man a medal.

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u/nejad44 Sep 24 '22

he's best pirate I ever seen

32

u/rikersdickbeard1701 Sep 24 '22

Holy Schnikes!!!!

18

u/Quiznog Sep 24 '22

Quit playin with yer dinghy

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u/TrumpterOFyvie Sep 24 '22

Poor girl, I hate whenever this is shared and mass mockery ensues.

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u/SapphireSire Sep 24 '22

If the lake rises a foot or two when you enter the boat, sit in the middle.

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u/LadyCoaxochitl Sep 24 '22

This is like the real life version of that “Die Dicke Anna” song from German class

5

u/Xuncu Sep 24 '22

<celene_deon_but_even_MORE_screechy_and_off-key_and_a_recorder.mp3>

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u/lechatsage Sep 24 '22 edited Sep 25 '22

Too bad the little rowboat doesn’t have accommodation for better distribution of weight. I think u/bell37 is right, maybe something in the bow. Poor guy!

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u/i_hit_the_fan Sep 24 '22

If she would have rowed the boat would be in better balance and - in my opinion - they both would have a more graceful experience. On the other hand, if they don't mind - I don't mind.

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u/Stonewise Sep 24 '22

Weight distribution…. That is all.

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u/MrZaroni Sep 24 '22

It's more a question about weight ratios and dispersement across the boat.

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u/Kingkunta87 Sep 24 '22

Kratos would struggle to row this boat

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